G.A.S.P.

FIRE THE RULING CLASS!!

2009-10-23T09:47:00.000-07:00

Are you furious with your representation in Washington? Are you fearful of the future? Do you want a complete overhaul? Are you fed up with the corruption in DC? Do you want to do something about it?

There is a wonderful new web site that lets YOU decide when “enough is enough.” You can let your senators and your congressman know how long you think they should serve in office. You can take a pledge that you are going to support ANY CANDIDATE FROM ANY PARTY who will limit the size and the reach of the federal government.

Go to THIS site (www.firetherulingclass.org) and read the mission statement and the “Who We Are” page. Then check out the other pages and take the pledge. It will be so exciting to see the number of pledges on the interactive map of the United States increase as the days and months go by. The 2010 election will be here before you know it. It is crucial that there be a huge turnout for the primaries.

Be sure to check out the links at the bottom of the web site. The slogans on the bumper stickers and the t-shirts are fabulous! Yes siree sir (that’s grass roots talk), we will let the Kings, Queens, Bishops and Knights know that their reign is coming to an end. Give this link to everybody you know and encourage them to pledge their vote.

GRASS ROOTS are going to catch on fire like we have never seen before. The United States Capitol is going to be consumed in the mother of all grass fires. (Note to Homeland Security....that is figurative, not literal). From the ashes we can pray a new brand of leadership will arise to give our government back to WE THE PEOPLE.

THE PREZ

THE ENTERTAINER

2009-09-20T14:55:00.000-07:00

(Theme song for post: The Entertainer)

Daaawling, BO, make up your mind. Do you want to be a movie star or Broadway star or TV star or do you want to be president? It seems to me that all you’ve done in the last 8 months is mug for the camera. Oh, and that’s quite an act you put on when you make your speeches. Do you ever shut down the campaign mode during your oratory or is that the only way you know how to speak? It is sooooo not presidential, daaawling. That ranting and raving in the middle of the speech to the joint session of Congress recently....tsk, tsk. I know, it is hard to turn off Jeremiah Wright in your head, isn’t it?

Here’s an idea for you, chump, uh uh, I mean, daaawling. Get yourself a studio in Hollywood or a stage on Broadway and stay there. You can play before huge, adoring crowds every single day of the year. It will be “maaawvelous!” Well, every day might be a bit much. You can take Mondays off and let your understudy, Biden, go on for you. The farther away from the White House you are, the better off we are. Play act where you can do no harm.

I think the citizens of this country are beginning to see you for what you are, daaawling, a complete phoney, a two-bit actor. You wanted to ride your star through a glorious 8-year run in “The President of the United States,” and come out on the far side as THE one who changed the country. Change, change, change, that’s all you talked about. You knew exactly what kind of change you wanted. Now people are beginning to see what you envision for America and they want no part of it. A lot of us were on to you a year ago, daaawling. The applause isn’t so loud anymore, is it?

You’ve run into very tough critics, daaawling BO. We aren’t.....gasp.....the New York Times!! Your 8-year run is going to be cut in half and you’ll be sent packing back to little theater performances in Chicago. If you can, in any way, be tied to the ACORN scandal, or if Blogo’s buddies sing, maybe the understudy will have to take over your role before this 4-year run ends. I doubt that will ever happen, though. It is apparent to me that your agents, producers and directors are doing such a maaawvelous job taking care of the star in their stable. Just like the glory days of Hollywood, all publicity about how wonderful you are is a bunch of crap, daaawling. Ahh, if we only had the true biography!

Are you the least bit tired from the 5 appearances on the political shows today? Hurry along now. The make-up lady is ready for you.....powder your nose.....it’s time to take the stage on Letterman. How DID you get him to give you the whole hour, daaawling? I must say, you ARE entertaining. Kissy-kiss! We must do lunch!

The Prez

WE'VE ONLY JUST BEGUN

2009-09-15T13:14:00.000-07:00

(Theme song for post: We've Only Just Begun)

The two of us, you and me, then you and someone else, and on and on. This is how a movement grows. We have to harness the energy created this past weekend and work harder to keep the pressure on our elected officials. We are tired of big government, big spending and all the corrruption!

It was an unbelievable experience to be among the million plus attending the 9-12 March. (The U.S. media says around 60,000....the British say 2 million....I know it was at least one million.) There is no way to convey what it was like, either in print or pictures. In four days we talked to hundreds of people or just gave a smile and a “thumbs up” signal. Conversations would pop up between tables at restaurants, on tour busses, passing in the street, in the elevator at the hotel. This is what I thought when talking to people from all over the country: “I just met you, but I’ve known you all my life.”

Enjoy this sampling of the hundreds of pictures from our trip to Washington, D.C. I wish I could have taken everyone of you with me. The pictures were taken by our Photo Journalist Czarina Stacy, who was ably assisted by Czarina Melody. Stacy is a professional photographer here in the Metroplex. (Stacy Bratton Photography, Colleyville, Texas (www.baby-photographer.com) for more information on 9.12DC photos, call 214.793.5899.)

Spontaneous crowd Friday night for the arrival of the Tea Party Express. Seriously, totally word of mouth!

Heading to the rally early Saturday morning. Ready to march are the Prez, Czars and Czarinas!

Unable to march, but they were there!

This was our vantage point. Can you see the back of your Prez?

Look how far way these folks were from the Capitol. They couldn't see anything! Still believe there were only 60,000 people there?

Just before we headed home, I had a “Fellow-Conservative-Columnist to Fellow-Conservative-Columnist” meeting at the airport with the one and only...GASP...Cal Thomas. You see, your Prez is always working for you! He told me he was proud of us for what we do and to keep going, to not give up. I know I never will.

The Prez

WE WERE THERE!!

2009-09-12T16:17:00.000-07:00

(Theme song for post: When the Saints Go Marching In)

Well, "we" as in GASP! We were represented. We had a voice. We stood up and were counted. We are doing something. We have a right to speak. We are not Nazis. We are not "astroturf." We, the people of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity,.... Oops, guess I got "all ‘We-Weed’ up," to coin Obama's phrase!

Anyway, our Prez and Czarinas Marcia and Virginia did us proud. Here are a couple of pictures of the day to tide you over until the Prez returns.

D.C. UPDATE

2009-09-11T18:38:00.000-07:00

(Theme song for post: When the Saints Go Marching In)

Things are getting exciting, folks!! Our Prez and her posse are already raising a ruckus! Check out their warm-up for tomorrow:

If you are tracking the day's events tomorrow, listen for their chant!!

After their tactical meeting, they headed to where the Tea Party Express was ending its journey. Although they were in the front rows of the throngs when Sean Hannity was interviewing Dick Armey and company, we could not see them. After the interview, I tried to communicate with our Prez through her handy-dandy iPhone. I could not hear her and she said she'd call back. A few seconds later, my phone rang and I could hear her and her right-hand in D.C., Marcia, talking to Dick Armey. Apparently she didn't realize that somehow a button was pushed and I was listening in on the conversation (they were discussing town hall meetings)!

So, our Prez is busy schmoozing with movers and shakers and pressing palms with the big voices of the day!! Let's hope she doesn't forget us, her faithful followers, when she and Glenn Beck are hosting the Beck and Prez Hour!!

BREAKING NEWS!!

2009-09-10T20:50:00.000-07:00

(Theme song for post: When the Saints Go Marching In)

GGNN (GASP Grapevine News Network) is circling the drain!

If we don't get the Prez some better equipment, we may have to shut this thing down before we get our shot at a ratings race with FOX! Bless her heart, she tried. Take at look at this video just in today:

What she was trying to do was interview a couple from Minnesota she met while in Washington, D.C., for the big march on Saturday. Alas, the Mattel microphone and the distant iPhone did not do the job. Maybe while in the area she should seek some professional help from Carl Cameron or Major Garrett!!

This is your Media Czarina/SOS/Blog Manager/Editor/Grunt trying to keep you informed - but, hey, look what I have to work with!

SAINTS MARCHING IN!

2009-09-09T13:18:00.000-07:00

(Theme song for post: When the Saints Go Marching In)

If the great and mighty, all-knowing BO thinks he is the messiah, then by golly, we will call ourselves saints! Our group is ready to rumble. We are all leaving for D.C. tomorrow.

Somehow the GASP Grapevine News Network (GGNN) was overlooked when this administration handed out the stimulus money. El zippo is the amount we got. Because we refuse to....gasp....borrow money to operate beyond our means, we will be on a shoe-string budget while in Washington.

No money means that I will act as producer, director and reporter and will depend on one of the czarinas or czars to be the camera man. Well, I don’t know if I should really say “camera man” because our only piece of broadcasting equipment will be my iPhone. If all goes well, and barring any technical glitches, you may receive D.C. video updates via email from our Media Czarina/Secretary of State/Blog Manager/Editor/Grunt. Can’t promise for sure, but we will try our best.

Don’t forget to watch FOX News on Saturday between 1:00 and 3:00 where the march will be covered live. I will be on the lookout for any evidence of media coverage other than FOX and GGNN. Any bets on me seeing other network trucks at the scene? And, if they do show up, they will not accurately report the saints descending en masse on Washington D.C.

WE HAVE HAD IT!

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

The Prez

THE GRAPEVINE - PART II

2009-08-30T14:10:00.000-07:00

(Theme song for post: I Heard it Through the Grapevine)

(Your Prez is Back!)

Soon, the grapevine is going to be our only means of communication. Did you hear THIS through the grapevine.....’cause you sure aren’t gonna hear it in the mainstream media. ABC is refusing to air nationally an ad critical of BO’s health care reform plan. EXCUUUUSE ME, but.....gasp....didn’t ABC broadcast a prime-time special from the White House, featuring the messiah himself, pushing his plan? ABC says their policy is not to SELL advertising that presents a partisan position on a controversial issue. Okie-dokie, now. They can present one side only in a prime-time special but can’t sell an ad that presents a different view? WHY NOT? I’m beginning to think ABC stands for “Advancing Barack’s Causes.”

NBC said it will consider running the ad “with some revisions.” EXCUUUUSE ME, but.....gasp.....isn’t that called censorship? They are demanding to make revisions in the ad? I have seen a couple anti-Obama health care ads reviewed by the pollster, Frank Luntz. They were factual and very effective ads.....one ad polled favorable with 89% of Republicans and 53% of Dems. and a very high percentage of independents. Oooooops! That’s the problem!

Oh, by the way, Glenn Beck put an NBC shopping bag on his desk the other day–beautiful peacock logo on the bag. He pulled out Obama items you can buy at the NBC gift shop. Yep, you can buy an Obama doll, a coffee mug with a mug shot of BO on the side and a t-shirt that says, “Yes We Did.” WHY? What does Obama have to do with NBC? Oh, yes. There’s that little fact that Jeffrey Immelt, CEO of General Electric (owner of NBC), is a member of BO’s Economic Advisory Board. He had input with the stimulus bill and the health care reform plan and is a board member of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York helping to decide who gets lots of money. If cap and trade laws pass, GE stands to make billions from the sale of their products to other companies who will have to comply with the laws. Ditto if the health care plan is passed. Immelt might as well be sleeping in the Lincoln Bedroom. (Go here to check all 29 Obama tchotchkes sold at NBC.)

The Blog Manager/Editor/SOS/Grunt/Media Czarina reported last week that I’d gone wobbly again. Although not fully recovered, I am out of the fetal position but still sucking my thumb and dragging around my blankie. At night I’m afraid to close my eyes because I have nightmares about the boogie man.....not sure he is imaginary. Just when you thought you’d heard it all, there’s this: Did you know there is a U.S. Senate bill that proposes to give the president emergency control of the internet? (Go here to read more.)

The boogie man may very well be real. Sleep well tonight, my friends, and sweet dreams.

THE PREZ

THE GRAPEVINE - PART I

2009-08-26T20:19:00.000-07:00

Have YOU heard?

OK - I did it again. It's me, the SOS/BlogManager/Editor/Grunt/Media Czarina. I hijacked the blog. It's probably OK, though. The Prez has resumed the fetal position - watching Glenn Beck the last several days has put her over the edge again. Seriously, are people paying attention to the great "connect the people" game Beck is playing? But I digress - as I've been reading the paper lately and been doing my research, I've noticed something. There's a lot going on that's not getting a lot of press OR there are things going on that are getting press for the wrong reasons. So, pardon the length, but here we go:

Unemployment – July 2009 – 9.7% Didn’t Obama say that if the stimulus bill was passed that they could hold unemployment to 8%, but if it didn’t pass it would rise to 9%? That’s what I thought…

Cash for clunkers – They are touting the program as hugely successful. Let’s see, a program put in place that originally was supposed to have lasted until November 1st. But, wait, more people took advantage of it than they thought and there isn’t enough money to keep the program going. Now, the dealers are hoping and praying they’ll get their money from the Government. Oh, and the big benefactors of the program? Why the Japanese automakers – Toyota, Honda and Nissan accounted for 41 percent of the new vehicle sales! Here’s the top ten list of vehicles purchased:
1. Toyota Corolla
2. Honda Civic
3. Toyota Camry
4. Ford Focus FWD
5. Hyundai Elantra
6. Nissan Versa
7. Toyota Prius
8. Honda Accord
9. Honda Fit
10. Ford Escape FWD

Eric Holder investigating Bush, et al, with regard to interrogation technique – Can you say smoke screen? Too much bad Obama stuff goin’ down – need to start playing the broken Bush record again!

Health Care – Joke. Need I say more? Oh, OK, one more thing. Can you imagine the Government running all of your health care programs? Could it go something like what happened at the Veterans Affairs Department where mass letters were sent out to vets about disability claims indicating they had Lou Gehrig’s disease and one woman put herself through a battery of painful, expensive tests only to be told 5 days later by the VA its “diagnosis was a mistake?”

Afghanistan – More troops going in. Where’s Cindy Sheehan and her faithful Democratic followers? OK, I’ll give you that she’s ticked at Obama – but at least she’s consistent!! Where’s the rest of the loudmouths (read as Democratic radicals) who encouraged, supported and held her in high regard when she was camped outside a Crawford, Texas, ranch? No body is saying diddley squat about it, are they?

Gitmo – heard about that lately? It’s still open last time I looked. Wasn’t that getting shut down immediately?

Homeowners Assistance – Remember the big, prime-time show where Obama called out the 1-800 number so homeowners could find help with their mortgates? Yeah, that was REALLY helpful to lawyers, mortgage companies, etc. out to scam a buck. Many reported unsolicited calls after calling the “Obama Help Me” line that said help was on the way, just send in $1,200 for us to begin the process! There is an actual case in Arizona of a man who went through all the redtape only to be told in the end his payment was being raised! No kidding, check out the Arizona Republic on August 26, 2009.

Stimulus money? Hmmm…let’s see how THAT’s working:
"The Social Security Administration mistakenly sent stimulus checks worth a total of $425,000 to 1,700 prison inmates. Official records “did not accurately reflect that they were in prison,” an SSA spokesman told Fox News. Inmates typically aren’t eligible for Social Security benefits, but, in a twist, some of the inmates—those who weren’t incarcerated between November 2008 and January 2009—did in fact get the $250 checks “fair and square,” according to Fox News."

Or how about a checkpoint in Laredo, TX, that gets more than 55,000 travelers a day that was passed over for stimulus money, while a checkpoint in Westhope, ND, that sees just 73 people a day is getting almost $15 million for renovations? Nope, no politics in the stimulus bill, is there?

OK, I'm done. It's just that you never see this crap headlined. With the exception of the flights back to Mexico (because that's SOOOOO humanitarian) and Eric Holder (for obvious reasons), none of this has been big, bold, headline stuff. It's all tucked away in small snippets, hoping it doesn't get notice!! Sorry about circumventing the Prez - but I had to get that off my chest. She'll come around in a day or so and then I'll get the what for!!

SHOOT'N OFF MY MOUTH

2009-08-24T08:58:00.000-07:00

Texas Monthly magazine published an interview with Ted Nugent and put him on the cover of the July issue. (Go here for a video of a small portion of that interview.) They asked their readers to “fill in the blanks,” expressing their thoughts about that interview in an easy-to-use template letter to the editor. They knew there would be strong feelings both ways.

I hurriedly mailed back my filled-in letter and forgot about it. Two weeks ago a fact checker from the magazine called to tell me they had.....gasp.....chosen my letter to be included in a montage of responses. If I had known they were going to copy the actual form and not reprint it, I would have been neater! The September issue came in the mail yesterday. This is the letter, with my words capped and underlined, that appeared in the magazine:

Dear Editor,

I am a(an) 62 YR. OLD, NON-HUNTER, CONSERVATIVE FEMALE (political affiliation) who has been subscribing to Texas Monthly for 22 (number) years, and I am writing to express my GIDDY ELATION (emotional state) at this month’s issue. Ted Nugent is a(an) CONTRADICTION IN CULTURAL GENRES (noun). He has done more to SUPPORT (verb) the SECOND AMENDMENT (noun) than anyone since DAVY CROCKETT (historical figure). By putting him on your cover, you have reached a new LEVEL OF COURAGE I DIDN’T THINK POSSIBLE (relative altitude). I think that you should ALTERNATE TED AND KINKY AS GUEST CONTRIBUTORS. Please RENEW IN PERPETUITY (verb) my subscription.

(Side note: Kinky Friedman is a frequent guest writer for the magazine. I didn’t write the note on my letter that says he needs a haircut and a shave!)

Your Prez does not know how to fire a gun or has any desire to do so, but I will shoot off my mouth to do everything I can to preserve the right of those who want to own guns, to hunt and to protect themselves and their families. Banning guns will NOT get the guns out of the hands of the criminals, it will only make law abiding citizens more vulnerable. It is our right to bear arms...... and not the kind Michelle flaunts.

In a peaceful revolution, the only weapons we have are our voices and the voting booth. Keep firing until we shoot down BO’s socialist health care plan. When we win that fight you are going to have to reload and take aim in a new battle.....the assault on the Second Amendment. There are many fronts in this war.

The Prez

THIS LAND IS YOUR LAND

2009-08-12T08:45:00.000-07:00

(Theme song for post: This Land is Your Land and Battle Hymn of the Republic)

..........this land is my land. Let’s fight to preserve for our children and grandchildren the America we know and love. Do what you can to make your voice heard. Email, phone and snail mail members of Congress and the Senate. There are still some townhall meetings taking place later this month (unless some of the yellowbellies are too chicken to hold them). Here’s the link to check out your state.

If you are free September 10-13, please join your Prez and thousands from across the nation for the 9.12.09 March on DC. As of this date, GASP will be represented in Washington by seven members from three states. We are staying at the Marriott Metro Center which has special rates for those attending the event. More information can be found HERE.

Our group ranges in age from 40-67. We are your typical right-wing terrorist, fake anger, mob types. The two men are both former Air Force officers: one is now a Delta pilot and the other is a retired American Airlines pilot. One of the women is a retired small business owner and grandmother, two are housewives and grandmothers and two are Gen Xers.

One thing we have in common is that we have never done anything like this before. Believe me, no special interest group or political party is paying our way to Washington. We are going because we are fed up with the our representation (or lack there of) in DC and we are “taking it to the street.” Don’t they get it up there? This is a real protest by average, Joe the Plumber Americans.

If you show up in Washington, look for your Prez, sans her Brooks Brothers suit. This T-shirt will be my rally attire. I’ll be the one wearing this nameplate on a chain around my neck so fellow mob members can find me. I will have the Blog Manager/Editor/Secretary of State/Grunt on speed dial in case we....gasp....get hauled off to jail. She may be contacting you for bail money for the seven of us.

Do you remember the revised version of the “Battle Hymn of the Republic” that I wrote for the 4th of July? I believe it should be the official marching song for this rally.......especially the last verse. What do you think?

OUR NEW BATTLE CRY

MINE EYES HAVE SEEN THE FOLLY OF THE ONE WHO THINKS HE’S LORD,
HE IS TRAMPLING OUT THE COFFERS WHERE OUR WEALTH AND PRIDE ARE STORED.
HE HATH LOOSED THE FATEFUL LIGHTNING OF HIS SMOOTH DECEITFUL TONGUE.
HIS SCHEME IS MARCHING ON.

SADLY, SADLY WE ARE CHANGING,
SADLY, SADLY WE ARE CHANGING,
SADLY, SADLY WE ARE CHANGING,
HIS SCHEME IS MARCHING ON.

I HAVE SEEN HIM IN THE GAZES OF THOSE LARGE ADORING THRONGS.
THEY HAVE BUILDED HIM AN ALTAR WHERE HE CARRIES OUT HIS WRONGS.
I HAVE SEEN HIS POMPOUS ACTIONS CONTRADICT HIS SPOKEN WORD.
HIS GREED IS MARCHING ON.

CHORUS

WE ARE SOUNDING FORTH THE TRUMPET THAT WE NEVER SHALL RETREAT.
WE WILL GATHER UP IN MASSES AND WILL MARCH FOR HIS DEFEAT.
BE STRONG OUR SOULS TO PERSEVERE, TO TAKE IT TO THE STREET.
OUR WILL IS MARCHING ON.

Please join us in Washington D.C. for the march on September 12.

The Prez

BLUE MOON

2009-07-30T17:33:00.000-07:00

(Theme song for this post: I'm Sorry and Blue Moon)

Oh, the powers of our beloved BO. What a savior. Worldwide, national, state, local, personal.....makes no difference. This man can have a profound effect on each and every one of us and solve all our problems.

My darling husband was so moved by the Beer Summit at the White House today that, in support of Sgt. Crowley, he brought home Blue Moon beer for our happy hour tonight. Seriously - that's our beer sitting on our counter!!

We spent a blissful hour at the round table on our back porch sipping beer and apologizing to each other. All is well in our house.....gasp..... thanks to BO.

The Prez

CZARINA, CZARINA

2009-07-28T10:02:00.000-07:00

(Theme song for this post: Corrine, Corrina and Shake, Rattle and Roll)

Czarina, Czarina, GASP is where you belong

Czarina, Czarina, GASP is where you belong
We’ll tell the sheeple where they done gone wrong.

Czarina, Czarina,
Czarina, Czarina,
Czarina, Czarina,
I need you so!

I need Czarinas, tell the world I do
I need Czarinas, tell the world I do
All of us together, clean up that D.C. zoo!

And, now, I take great pride in introducing our very own GASP Czarinas!

CZARINA CZARINA - CYNTHIA, ODESSA, TX

Cynthia started this. She is the one who suggested we have Czars instead of Vice Prezidents. She will make sure that we are in step with the times.

METHANE CZARINA - LORI, HOUSTON, TX
Lori’s application came with a glowing recommendation from her gastrointerologist. At our meetings we can either make her stay out in the hall or we can all don gas masks.

TREASURY CZARINA - SHIRLEY, RENO, NV
We will print our own GASP currency when inflation hits. Shirley is making appointments for me to sit for several photographers. Guess whose image in going to be on the new trillion dollar bill? (Here's the prototype!)

COVERT OPERATIONS CZARINA - ????
Duh, it is Covert Operations. I can’t tell you anything!

ALTERNATIVE ENERGY CZARINA - KENDRA, HOUSTON, TX
Kendra is going to harness energy through electric eels. She writes, “...what’s a little extra slime? If that fails we could try fireflies. What’s a more hopeful symbol than fireflies? It would bring a tear to the eye of the Arsonist in Chief”.

GRAFT CZARINA -
MARCIA, MONROE CITY, MO
Marcia will make sure The Prez is supplied regularly with largess. She has already sent a gift, as only two other GASP members have to date. The rest of you can expect some very forceful Rahm Emanuel arm twisting. I like jewelry.

MEDIA/PRESS CZARINA -
LAURA, PHOENIX, AZ
Our Blog Manager/Editor/Secretary of State/Grunt wrote, “It would be a hoot to go up against ole’ Gibbs. I think I could match him sarcasm for sarcasm.” I have no doubt that she could!

HEALTH CARE CZARINA -
ANN, COLLEYVILLE, TX
Ann is an R.N. and will be able to implement my McBucks health care plan perfectly. We will put a clinic in every McDonald’s and Starbucks across the country.....that pretty much means every block. We will round up all illegals and fast-track them through medical school and English classes. They will man the clinics and be paid minimum wage (since the libs think minimum wage is not an entry-level, temporary wage and should be high enough to support a family, this amount is what they will earn). We will double the prices in McDonald’s and Starbucks to subsidize the clinics. VOILA! Free health care for those that want it. You will be able to keep your current health care provider if you choose.

FASHIONISTA CZARINA -
PAT, WATAUGA, TX
This kills Pat because she is an absolute fashion plate....you should see her! She sadly decrees that everyone wear brown shirts, no sleeveless, please (and that includes you, Michelle). Her job is pretty much done so she won’t have to leave us and go to Washington.

DWTS CZARINA -
VIRGINIA, COCOA BEACH, FL
We are losing our right to choose in many areas of our lives. Why should Dancing With the Stars be any different? Virginia will tell us who to vote for every week. Ditto for American Idol.

Oh, heck, why not! I think I will leak it. The Covert Operations Czarina? That would be....gasp.... VALERIE PLAME, GEORGETOWN, WASHINGTON D.C. She’s launched an underground campaign to keep our Blog Manager/Editor/Secretary of State/Grunt from abandoning our GASP operation and shutting it down. While she is doing that she’s also looking for signs of yellowcake production.....but, you didn’t hear this from me!

So, there, you have it. Our first ten Czarinas. At our next meeting we will don our brown shirts, line up and rehearse our “Czarina, Czarina” routine. How soon can we take this show on the road?

THE PREZ

P.S. We will need more than one song in our repertoire, so before our next meeting please learn the words to "Shake, Rattle and Roll."

THE ARSONIST IN CHIEF

2009-07-20T09:26:00.001-07:00

(Theme song for this post: The Fireman)

JUST WEEKS AGO THE ARSONIST IN CHIEF WAS HEARD SCHEMING HIS PLAN. I AM LETTING YOU IN ON PILLOW TALK CONVERSATION THAT BO HAD WITH MICHELLE ONE NIGHT. THE GHOST OF.....gasp....ELEANOR ROOSEVELT CONVEYED THIS TO ME ONLY DAYS AGO. (YES, SHE'S GIVEN UP ON HILLARY AND IS NOW CHANNELING THROUGH ME.) HERE IS WHAT BO SAID:

“I’ll start a CAP AND TRADE fire over here. I’ll get that fire roaring and then.......

While they are trying to put that fire out, I’ll go over here and start a SUPREME COURT NOMINATION fire. I’ll fan that briefly to make sure it’s going to take off and, hmmm, let’s see......

I’ll go over there and light a HEALTH CARE REFORM fire. I’m going to make this one pretty big. YES, that’s what I like to see.....they are scrambling. They can’t fight these fires all at once. I think I’ll start ANOTHER small STIMULUS fire in that corner. They will be running in circles.”

This guy is so good. How can our elected officials be remotely aware of all the details in these complicated issues? How can we put out all these fires at once?

My fear is that our nation is burning to the ground while the Arsonist in Chief brilliantly executes the teachings of Saul Alinsky’s “Rules for Radicals.” The capitalist forests are burning, singeing much of the Constitution, and when the smoke clears we will find little green shoots of socialism sprouting in their place. What will we do then?

FIRE ALARM....FIRE ALARM....FIRE ALARM...
...FIRE ALARM......FIRE ALARM...FIRE ALARM

PLEASE CALL AND EMAIL YOUR SENATORS AND CONGRESSMEN AND TELL THEM TO VOTE NO TO ALL OF THE ABOVE. LET’S TRY TO PUT OUT THESE FIRES!

THE PREZ

(There was something in the paper yesterday that grabbed my attention. It was about a civilian doctor, Dr.Steven Wolf, who has taken over the burn unit at Brooke Army Hospital. Brooke used to be one of the top burn centers in the world. In 2002 is lost it's verification, alarming the Defense Dept. Because the government could not pay a top burn surgeon enough to take the job as director, it created a joint position with UT medical school and Dr. Wolf is quoted as saying, "the burn unit had become too much of a government institution, too scheduled, too regulation oriented and too inflexible." That is what we can expect from government-run health care. Click here for the link to the article)

Editor's note on 7/22/09: For those who may have heard the Rush Limbaugh program yesterday, rest assured that our Prez was the FIRST to describe BO as an arsonist! It's eerie how our beloved Prez has her finger on the pulse of the conservative think tank!

CZARINA

2009-07-10T17:28:00.000-07:00

(Theme for this post: Kalinka)

It’s 12:30 PM, July 11, 2009, and I call this meeting to order. Too bad if you can’t attend. I’m The Prez, I say the meeting is now. We have urgent business to tend to and I can’t wait until we can round up everyone. Give me a break..........at least I didn’t do this at 3:00 AM........I’m conducting business in the daylight, which is a step above our legislators in Washington.

NEW BUSINESS: Cynthia from Odessa, Texas, brought it to my attention that maybe all members’ titles should be changed from Vice Prezident to Czar. Why didn’t I think of that? Vice Prezident is so passe these days. So, from now on every member is my Czarina and the guys are my Czars. Please email me with the area you would like to be in charge of.....first come, first served, so hurry and pick your area of expertise. The Health Czarina has been taken by Anne of Colleyville, Texas. Cynthia is the Czarina for Keeping Things Up-to-Date. I’ll have an update on all our Czarinas/Czars in a future post. (Gasp.....I just can’t seem to stop doing this blog. How many times have I quit?)

I would request that one of you volunteer to leave GASP and become the 500th Czarina in BO’s administration. They are in dire need of a Fashionista Czarina. Would somebody please tell Malia Obama not to wear the peace symbol, CND (Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament) T-shirts while touring Europe. Yes, she has more than one. She was photographed in two different T-shirts. Ask Michelle how she had the “audacity” to carry a $6,000 handbag on her jaunt with BO in the Russian woods. Times are tough, honey, you might not want to flaunt your designer bag in our unemployed faces! Oh, and one more thing.....enough already with the bare arms. Do you OWN an outfit with sleeves?

If we have to be commies, I’ve decided we’ll be commies with a Tejano flair. Check out the second song. (I'm crossing my fingers that the lyrics are not offensive....who knows what the guy is singing!) ‘Til next time my comrades!

Meeting Adjourned!

THE PREZ

P.S. The reason that Cynthia and Ann already have their titles is that the three of us are members of the Texas group of Smart Girl Politics. Cynthia discovered our blog on that site and contacted me through SGP. I've made her a member of GASP without even asking her. If you would like to become members of a great organization, check out Smart Girl Politics. You can find your state's group and join that, too, if you want.

CHAIN OF FOOLS

2009-07-07T08:09:00.001-07:00

(Theme for this post: Chain of Fools, Send in the Clowns)

Add one more fool to the mix today as Al Franken is sworn in as a United States Senator. Not only do we have Bama, Pelosi and Reid, "The Three Stooges,"...........now Al Franken can pal up with Barney Frank and we'll call them "Frick and Frack."

THE INMATES ARE RUNNING THE ASYLUM!!

Today is the circus of a memorial for Michael Jackson in L.A. The media went crazy when he died and the next day hardly any mention was made when the House passed that obscene energy bill. The biggest tax hike in our nation's history was ignored for non-stop coverage of a pop star's death.

Isn't it ironic that the Ringling Bros. Circus is waiting outside the Staples Center to move in right after the Jackson memorial? Yep, today seems like the perfect day to hang it up here at GASP. The world is topsey-turvey and everything is becoming a circus.

When I die, keep it simple. This is all I want as my epitaph: "Gasp...She's Gone!"

THE PREZ

BATTLE FOR OUR REPUBLIC

2009-06-23T15:08:00.000-07:00

In 1861 Julia Ward Howe was asked to write new lyrics for the Civil War marching song, “John Brown’s Body.” The words came to her that very night and she got up in the early dawn from her bed in the Willard Hotel in Washington D.C. to pen the words to “The Battle Hymn of the Republic.” Almost 150 years later I have written new lyrics to fit our time. We are at war once again to save our republic. This time it is not the North versus the South. This time it is the people versus a tyrannical government.

This Independence Day I will not be in a light and festive mood. Our constitution is being ripped to shreds and our voices are being ignored, if not stifled. My heart is aching for our battered nation.

OUR NEW BATTLE CRY

MINE EYES HAVE SEEN THE FOLLY OF THE ONE WHO THINKS HE’S LORD,

HE IS TRAMPLING OUT THE COFFERS WHERE OUR WEALTH AND PRIDE ARE STORED.

HE HATH LOOSED THE FATEFUL LIGHTNING OF HIS SMOOTH DECEITFUL TONGUE.

HIS SCHEME IS MARCHING ON.

SADLY, SADLY WE ARE CHANGING,

SADLY, SADLY WE ARE CHANGING,

SADLY, SADLY WE ARE CHANGING

HIS PLANS ARE MARCHING ON.

I HAVE SEEN HIM IN THE GAZES OF THOSE LARGE ADORING THRONGS.

THEY HAVE BUILDED HIM AN ALTAR WHERE HE CARRIES OUT HIS WRONGS.

I HAVE SEEN HIS POMPOUS ACTIONS CONTRADICT HIS SPOKEN WORD.

HIS GREED IS MARCHING ON.

CHORUS

WE ARE SOUNDING FORTH THE TRUMPET THAT WE NEVER SHALL RETREAT.

WE WILL GATHER UP IN MASSES AND WILL MARCH FOR HIS DEFEAT.

BE STRONG OUR SOULS TO PERSEVERE, TO TAKE IT TO THE STREET.

OUR WILL IS MARCHING ON.

CHORUS

IN THE BEAUTY OF THE LILIES CHRIST WAS BORN ACROSS THE SEA.

WITH THE GLORY IN HIS BOSOM HE TRANSFIGURED YOU AND ME.

AS HE DIED TO MAKE MEN HOLY, LET US LIVE TO MAKE MEN FREE.

WHILE GOD IS MARCHING ON.

GLORY, GLORY, HALLELUJAH!

GLORY, GLORY, HALLELUJAH!

OUR GOD IS MARCHING ON.

I kept Howe’s fifth verse and used it as my last. There will never be a need to change that.

PROUD TO BE YOUR PREZ

(Our Secretary of State/Editor/Blog Manager/Grunt will be on..gasp..vacation until the latter part of July. She’s the one that does the fancy stuff. Sorry, I’m forced to take a break until her return. Be safe over the holiday.)

SLOW DOWN!!

2009-06-17T12:49:00.000-07:00

(Theme song for post: I'm In a Hurry)

HE'S BUSY AS A BEE! WHEN DOES THIS OBAMA GUY SLEEP?

“HURRY,” he said, “the sky will fall if we don’t pass the stimulus bill. Don’t give them time to read it, pass it tonight. I’m flying to Chi Town with Michelle for a weekend getaway and I’ll fly someplace next Tuesday to sign it.”

“HURRY,” he said, “I’ll create a czar for this and a czar for that and they won’t have to answer to anybody but me.”

“HURRY,” he said, “we have to bail out the car company. We’ll throw billions at them so they won’t go bankrupt. Uh, oh, that didn’t work? Well, HURRY, let’s take control of this car company and make the union a partner.”

“HURRY,” he said, “get the Sotomayor confirmation hearings going ASAP before any opposition has a snow ball’s chance in hell of growing while rolling down the hill.....literally.”

“HURRY,” he said, “I’ve angered my gay and lesbian subjects by defending the Defense of Marriage Act. HURRY, I’ll throw them a bone and give healthcare and other benefits to same-sex partners of federal employees. I don’t have to go through congress to do that. Yeah, that’s the ticket. I’ll sign that tonight.”

“HURRY,” he said, “Today I’ll announce the creation of a Consumer Financial Product Safety oversight Commission and take away oversight from the Federal Reserve and other bank regulators. I’ll make that official tomorrow.”

“HURRY,” he said, “let’s shove national health care down America’s throat. My buds at ABC are going to aid and abet by moving into the White House one evening to air my infommercial. I’m letting Charlie use the Blue Room to broadcast the news before we move to the East Room for the primetime special, "Prescription for America," which the people have no clue is another dose ofthe Kool-Aid. (Click here to email your displeasure to ABC at: http://abcnews.go.com/Site/page?id=3271346.

BO knows exactly why he’s in a hurry. His promise was CHANGE. He has to hurry to change everything and destroy capitalism before the expiration date on the Kool-Aid comes to pass.

My head is spinning with all he has thrown at me. I can’t quite sort it all out in my mind. Do you, like me, feel like you’re on a carnival ride going round and round and round with the certain knowledge that when it stops you will get off and be violently ill?

THE PREZ

(Gasping for breath!)

YOU TALK TOO MUCH

2009-06-11T20:54:00.000-07:00

(Theme song for post: You Talk Too Much)

Hey, Letterman........ZIP IT!

I haven’t watched you in years. I used to think you were pretty funny. In recent years you have become a nasty, cranky, bitter old man. On the news yesterday I saw a clip of you getting bent out of shape recently when Julia Roberts asked you personal questions on the air about your wife. Nobody can even ASK about a family member of yours and you think you can get away with a heinous joke about Sarah Palin’s 14 year old daughter? What makes your wife off limits and Palin’s daughter an acceptable target? Tell me, Dave, what makes it OK.

Some of my friends are writing to CBS expressing their disgust. One friend says to write to your sponsors. Without doing a lot of research I’ve come up with one definite sponsor and a list of sponsors who run ads as lead-ins to video clips of the Late Show website. I’m on a campaign to have as many people as possible email those companies voicing their displeasure with you.

Les Munves, CEO, CBS: http://www.cbs.com/info/user_services/fb_global_form.php
(If that doesn't work, go to cbs.com and at the very bottom click on "user feedback.")

Paul Michaels, President, Mars Candy: http://www.mars.com/

Other sponsors on the website:Aveeno (owned by Johnson & Johnson), Canon, Charmin and Downy (owned by Proctor & Gamble), Citibank, Hellman’s, Lexus (owned by Toyota), Nissan and Rogaine.

I have several very wonderful flight attendant friends and they should be calling for your head on a platter for saying that Palin looked like a “slutty flight attendant.” (Psssst....Flight Attendants’ Union, where are you when we need you?) If you had said “nappy headed flight attendant” we’d have Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton asking that you be fired. I want all my flight attendant friends to be prepared if you ever sit your sorry butt down in a first class seat on a plane. I would suggest that they..gasp..dump a pot of hot coffee in your lap. Taking action has to start somewhere!

THE PREZ

I'M IN OZ!!

2009-05-25T11:28:00.000-07:00

(Theme song for post: Medley of Wizard of Oz songs)

I would have posted sooner but I just regained consciousness. Friday night I was watching FOX news and by the end of the broadcast I was being lifted off my feet and spun into the air by a twister. Below are the elements that came together during the show to cause the perfect storm:

WHAT??!! The voters of California voted 52% against gay marriage but on May 26 the CA Supreme Court may overturn the voters’ decision. Okey-dokey, now. Let’s see if I’ve got this right. Liberal judges can trump a legit election.

EXCUSE ME?? In her holier-than-thou voice, with her lips stretched tightly over her capped teeth, Nancy Pelosi dismissed the press as if they were annoying gnats, declaring, “I am not answering any questions on that subject.” I guess the press and the Republicans are going to let her get away with her damnable lies. (The Wicked Witch is here in Oz....I can’t get away from her!)

YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING!! Henry Waxman and the Dems hired a speed reader to read the massive 946 page climate bill in case the Republicans “force the issue” by demanding that the bill be read. Yeah, it’s 946 pages as well as several hundred pages of amendments being forced down our throats. A speed reader? They are making a mockery out of the legislative system and it’s a slap in the face to “We, the People.’ The Republicans could take that clip of the speed reader and beat the Democrats over the head with it in the 2010 elections. Will it happen?

WHAT CHUTZPAH! The White House is shutting out the press by allowing media coverage at events for only a few minutes, if at all. The White House is airing their own coverage of events on Youtube. Yep, they can edit those pieces to let you see and hear only what they want you to see and hear.

GASP! Ex-con, ex-teacher Mary Kay Letourneau and her boy-toy husband, Vili Fualaau are hosting “Hot for Teachers Night” at a Seattle nightclub. He’s the DJ and she’s the hostess. How disgusting!

Sadly, all the above was in ONE NEWS BROADCAST! Beam me up, Scottie, I don’t want to go home. You’ll find me in Oz.

DOROTHY THE PREZ

GOVERNMENT MOTORS

2009-05-19T09:42:00.000-07:00

(Theme song for post: Little GTO)

Government Motors CEO, Barack Obama, has decreed that by 2016 all cars and light trucks will be powered by rubber bands. Left turns will be forbidden and car color choices will be limited to black, coal black and midnight black.

Say bye-bye to your favorite sports car.

Here's the car we'll all be driving in the future.

And....gasp......factoring in inflation, this little beauty will cost you only $50,000.

If I have to drive that, then this should be his new presidential limousine!

The Prez

THE SECOND AMENDMENT - PART I

2009-05-11T13:56:00.001-07:00

(Theme song for post: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly)

The day after BO was elected last year one of our Florida members and her husband joined the NRA. This is a picture of her NRA sticker placed over a “W” campaign sticker from 2004. Neither Virginia or her husband own a gun but they felt it was necessary to join forces with a group that will fight to protect our right to bear arms.

Another member, Marcia from Missouri, joined the NRA and has just completed a conceal carry course. Watch this video and then tell me Marcia should not be allowed to carry a handgun in her purse if she chooses. Dr. Suzanna Gratia-Hupp tells U.S. Senators what it was like in Luby’s Cafeteria that day in Texas in 1991 when a madman began shooting at people like fish in a barrel and took the lives of 24. Go HERE to hear her testimony.

One night about two months ago our house security alarm startled us out of a deep slumber at 3 AM. I was petrified. My NRA member husband (who has a conceal carry license) got out of bed, got his gun and went from room to room in our house. He encountered no one but there’s no doubt in my mind he would have killed an intruder if there had been one. Take a look at this video telling what happened to a man in the U.K. who had a gun in his home and used it to protect himself and his property. I do not want this to happen to one single person in this country trying to protect their family. The British have something to say to Americans. We better wake up, listen and take action. Take a few minutes and go HERE for the message!

HR45 Blair Holt’s Firearm Licensing and Record of Sale Act is in committee in the House right now. To own a gun it would require you to have a Federal license with other strings attached. If you had children under 18 the government could...gasp...enter your home to check to make sure your guns are stored properly. That’s giving way too much power to the Federal government. My question would be this. WHO IS GOING TO MAKE THE BAD GUYS COMPLY WITH THE LAW?

The Prez

GASPING FOR BREATH

2009-05-02T12:22:00.001-07:00

(Theme song for post: Every Breath You Take)

This is your Prez back in action, for now at least. Thank goodness for the second in command who stepped in when I went wobbly in the knees and hid under the covers. BO should be so lucky! Look who he’s got as his #2.........Joe Trigger Tongue Biden who tells the nation he wouldn’t let anybody in his family travel for fear of getting the “Piggy Wiggy Flu.” (Caution: Pause the music before clicking on the link.)

I just received an email from a member in Colorado. She’s as frustrated as I am. Are you all in this state of mind? Here’s her email:

.....I’m loving your GASP postings! Makes me want to start riots!!!!!!!! Our situation is dire in this country and no one is listening. With the media on ‘their side’ we are out numbered and out blitzed...........We were at a dinner party last Sunday with retired doctors and nurses from our local area. All were conservative. The overall consensus was that there’s not much anyone can do. When I said I was about ready to start calling TV and radio stations when I disagreed with their analysis, they said they knew of two doctors who complained who were dogged by the IRS for years. WHAT?

I’m talking to the ladies I walk with, trying to get their ire up as much as mine. We think if there are enough of us calling and emailing it won’t hurt. How frustrating! Doesn’t anyone really get it? Do you have to be 60 something to catch on? Any ideas for more rebel rousing across the nation?

Gasping for Breath
Claudette C

I’m gasping for breath along with Claudette. What can we do?

I had been out from under the covers for barely 5 minutes when the news broke that Justice Souter was leaving the bench. I saw a vision of BO grinning from ear to ear prancing around the Oval Office shouting, "HERE COME DE JUDGE, HERE COME DE JUDGE." Too bad Flip Wilson is dead and BO can't appoint him to the court. He could have joined Nancy Wicked Witch of the House Pelosi, Barney the Drag Queen Frank, Tim Keebler Elf Geithner, and starring Don Corleone Obama in the remake of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest in Washington D.C."

HEY, BO

Every breath you take
Every smile you fake
Every move you make
Every vow you break
We'll be watching you.

O can't you see
How much we disagree
And our poor hearts ache with every step you take.

Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every time you stray
We'll be watching you.

THE PREZ

P.S. Gasp.....I think I just discovered the theme song for our group. We'll take a vote on it at the next meeting.

WHILE THE PREZ IS BUSY...

2009-04-30T08:21:00.000-07:00

(Theme song for post: Mad, Mad World)

...frantically searching for the proper chair, I'm going rogue and entering a couple thoughts on Obama's speech:

"Even as we clear away the wreckage of this recession, I have also said that we cannot go back to an economy that is built on a pile of sand - on inflated home prices and maxed-out credit cards, on overleveraged banks and outdated regulations that allowed the recklessness of a few to threaten the prosperity of us all," said the President.

"ONE key pioneer of ACORN's subprime-loan shakedown racket was Madeline Talbott - an activist with extensive ties to Barack Obama. She was also in on the ground floor of the disastrous turn in Fannie Mae's mortgage policies." - New York Post September 29, 2008 - so WHO'S been reckless???

The president opened by promising Americans that his government was doing "everything we can" to counter the spread of swine flu, which the World Health Organization classified Wednesday as a category 5 emergency, the second-highest level.

OK - "his" government?

He ruled out, for now, closing the southern U.S. border with Mexico, where the outbreak originated. He likened such measures to "closing the barn door after the horses are out, because we already have cases here in the United States."

Wait a minute - I thought just a paragraph or two before you said you were "doing everything we can" to counter the spread?

Until the picture becomes clearer, Obama said, his best advice was what doctors had been telling Americans for days: Wash your hands regularly and stay home if you are sick.

I hear the angels singing - THERE'S the solution - just wash your hands and this nasty category 5 emergency is taken care of !!

Hmmmm...if washing your hands gets rid of all the nasty stuff, would washing O's mouth out with soap get rid of all the crap that spews from it?

OK, I'm done. Anyone heard from the Prez lately??

SOS/Editor/Grunt

GET A ROPE!

2009-04-28T14:42:00.000-07:00

(Theme song for post: Mad, Mad World)

We have formed such a close bond over these last few months that the SOS and I know we can give you a glimpse into our personal lives. Do you feel the pain that we feel? I don't know about you but I'm about to cave. My head is getting bloody banging it against the increasingly hard liberal wall. Is there anybody left who really gives a flip about the future of this country?

These are the contents of actual emails that flew back and forth today between your Prez and your Secretary of State/Blog Manager/Editor/Grunt.

12:43 CDT - FROM THE PREZ TO THE SOS:

I was out running errands when I heard on the radio that Specter has changed parties. What the bleep is going on here??? Granted, he always acted like a Dem, but to change parties after all those years. I'm about ready to give up and take a vow to be blissfully ignorant of anything that's going on. Can you imagine if Bush's administration had that plane fly low over NY??? I'm resigning from GASP and becoming a recluse.

12:56 CDT - HER REPLY:

Funny you should say that. I told Dave this morning after the Specter thing that I give up - let the inmates run the nut house: Pass all the crap they want, dig the country deeper in debt, ban cars, gay up marriages, tax the hell out of us - maybe after all that somebody will get a large clue as to whom the real idiot is - OBAMA (aka known as the Front for Soros, Pelosi, Reid, and the Chicago Machine).

Gals, we've only endured the first 100 days of this nightmare. How can we make it through to the end? How? Never mind...I've found a rope...now I'm looking for a chair and someone to kick it out from under me.

THE PREZ

SINGERS, CELEBS & SYCOPHANTS

2009-04-26T14:12:00.001-07:00

(Theme song for post: Pata Pata)

Miriam Makeba passed away last November. I hadn’t thought about her in years. Her “Click” song from the early ‘60's was a huge hit. How does she sing and make that click sound at the same time? What do Makeba and Obama have in common? Answer: Beautiful voices and a slick, smooth delivery but you can’t make sense out of a word they say! You will not be sorry if you order, “Miriam Makeba - Africa,” from www.amazon.com for only $6.99.....I listen to it constantly. (I know, I know.....at one time she was married to Stokley Carmichael but I forgive her...I have a friend who was BFF with Carmichael when they were teenagers...but, I digress.) For those members who have sucked up to me and sent your Prez gifts, you might want to hold off ordering. You may get a surprise in the mail. What can I say? Yes, your Prez has accepted gifts and now I’m returning favors. Is there anybody out there who can’t be bought? At our next meeting you will have the chance to vote me out of office...gasp...if you think I’m not worthy to continue leading our group.

Did you watch “Kennedy Center Honors” last December? We should give kudos to the selection committee. Ms. Barbra Streisand was an honoree in the last year of the Bush administration and had to go to the White House to make nice and kissy-kiss with George Bush. Don’t you know she was royally ticked off that she couldn’t be one of the first to be honored by her beloved BO? Psssst.....Babs....SOMEBODY RAINED ON YOUR PARADE!

Here’s a brilliant quote from Debra Messing, of “Will and Grace” fame, talking to reporters about BO: “...our new president is not only meeting my expectations, but going far beyond. He is thoughtful and considerate and he gets all the information before he speaks which I think is a wonderful quality for the ruler of the free world to have.” What a ditz!

Then we have the consummate idiot, Janine Garafalo, stating last week that the tea parties were all about racists who hate having a black man in the White House. She said we were confused and angry, called us teabagging rednecks whose limbic brain is larger than that in a reasonable person. Janine is another perfect candidate to be the Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz.......if she only HAD a brain!

Hey, Babs, Janine, Brad and Denzel. You do know that BO has capped certain exec salaries at $250,000, don’t you? I think your income should be limited to $250,000 a year, also. No more ripping off the public for concerts and no zillion dollar movie and TV deals. Obscene wealth is so yesterday!

The Prez

WHEW!!

2009-04-17T09:46:00.000-07:00

(Theme song for post: Shotgun Boogie)

I feel better now - Janet's got a GUN!! We ARE secure! No...wait...I'm NOT secure...gasp...it's ME she's hunting!! It's open season on RIGHT-WING RADICALS!!!! (That is, if you define a "right-wing radical" as a person concerned about the economy, who doesn't like Government spending money on ridiculous items labeled "stimulus," a pro-lifer who believes in God, and someone who believes the Constitution is the foundation of our country - not a document that needs to change with the times.)

TEA FOR TICKED?

2009-04-16T08:09:00.001-07:00

(Theme song for post: Tea for Two)

TEXAS TEA PARTY!!!

I know that you would expect nothing less from your Prez than for me to show up at a Tea Party to represent every one of our loyal GASP members. I was there for you at Southlake Town Square in Southlake, Texas.

GASP members attending with me were Pat and Nancy.

It wasn't all women....check out these guys.

Too bad I didn't have a wide lens camera. This doesn't show the entire crowd.

Your Prez with the keynote speaker, Mark Davis, our local conservative talk radio personality. He subs for Rush once in a while. Next two times he'll be sitting in for Rush....April 24 and May 8.

I liked this sign.

After the crowd had gone, I got this picture of future conservatives. They are home schooled.....does that surprise anyone?

Only two of the dozen or so dissenters lingered long after it was over. Poor, misguided soul....reminds me of the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz. "If I only had a brain."

I was interviewed by a reporter. She asked me, "Why are you here?" I said, "I have never demonstrated or protested in my life but I am angry. I want to send a message to Washington that somebody better get a hold of the reins of this run-away horse of a government before it goes over the cliff." I should have added this: "Janet Napolitano and Homeland Security, here I am...gasp...a Right Wing Extremist. Come take me away in handcuffs before I hurt somebody with my umbrella."

The Prez

P.S. Because I was seen on a couple news broadcasts yesterday and mentioned on the radio, at our next meeting we will need to negotiate a hike in my salary.

SPRINGTIME FOR THE OBAMAS

2009-04-09T13:19:00.000-07:00

(Theme song for post: Springtime for Hitler)

MICHELLE, MY BELLE, HOW DOES YOUR GARDEN GROW?
WITH PORKULUS BILLS AND TAX CHEATING SHILLS
AND A HUSBAND WHO'LL TAKE ALL YOUR DOUGH!

THE PREZ

(This post is dedicated to "Mary, Mary Quite Contrary," a faithful GASP member from Phoenix, who requested a post about the new White House vegetable garden.)

STICKS AND STONES!

2009-04-04T21:20:00.000-07:00

(Theme song for post: Turkey Gobbling Sounds)

“STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK OUR BONES, BUT "DEM" WORDS MAY ACTUALLY HARM US...”

No more can we say, “war on terrorism.” It’s now OVERSEAS CONTINGENCY OPERATIONS.

No more can we say, “acts of terrorism.” By the direction of the Homeland Security Secretary, Janet Napolitano, it’s now MAN-CAUSED DISASTERS.

No more can we say “enemy combatants.” They haven’t decided what to call them but my money is on PESKY PRANKSTERS.

Obama said the North Korean missile launch is PROVACATIVE. Huh? Have I missed something? Did satellite pictures show the missile was wearing...gasp...pasties and a g-string?

BO and his cohorts lack the will to be tough in their language. Do you have confidence they will be assertive in their actions should we be challenged by any of those rascally “pranksters?”

What’s next? Do they think the eagle is too representative of power and strength on the Great Seal of the United States of America? Hey, I have an idea! Why not change the symbol from an eagle to a turkey? Here's factual info on the turkey: “Domestic turkeys are weak, they are fat, they are not agile, they can’t run very fast and they can’t fly. All of this makes it more difficult for them to survive on their own in an unprotected environment so when something unusual occurs they tend to panic. Frenzied, they will usually run as best they can until they reach a corner fence or some other barrier to progress. Even then they may continue their efforts to escape, piling onto each other suffocating those at the bottom of the heap.”

Yep, that about sums up this bunch. I have a feeling they will be diving under the bed if the big, bad wolf comes knocking on our door. They will be so very disappointed that nice words didn’t keep the wolf at bay.

The Prez

THE GREAT PRETENDER

2009-03-29T15:49:00.000-07:00

(Theme song for post: The Great Pretender)

It’s wonderful to be back in the saddle again here at GASP headquarters. I am so proud of all our members. Not a single one of you defected to the other side! I know, because all month I was tree sitting with my binoculars in Lafayette Park, right across the street from the White House. They let all sorts of kooks hang out there.

With just a little over two months in office, it’s pretty much been confirmed that Obama is not what he presented himself to be when campaigning. Slowly, too slowly in my opinion, people are waking up to the fact that this man is no moderate. One night I saw him out on the front lawn wearing his bathrobe and a crown, snapping his fingers and singing this song.....gasp..... with a little help from his ever-present teleprompter. WHAT??? He can’t even sing a song without that crutch?!!

OH, YES, I’M THE GREAT PRETENDER,
PRETENDING I CARE ABOUT YOU.

MY EGO IS SUCH, I PRETEND TOO MUCH,

AMERICA, YOU HAVEN’T A CLUE!

OH, YES, I’M THE GREAT PRETENDER,

RULING THE WORLD THAT I OWN.

I PLAY THE GAME AND I HAVE NO SHAME

FOR THE SOCIALIST SEEDS I HAVE SOWN.

OH, YES, I’M THE GREAT PRETENDER,

JUST LAUGHING AND GAY LIKE A CLOWN.

I SEEM TO BE WHAT I’M NOT YOU SEE,

I’M WEARING YOUR PAIN LIKE A CROWN!

TOO REAL IS THIS FEELING OF MAKE-BELIEVE,

TOO REAL WHEN I FEEL WHAT MY HEART CAN’T CONCEAL

OH, YES, I’M THE GREAT PRETENDER,

JUST LAUGHING AND GAY LIKE A CLOWN.

I SEEM TO BE WHAT I’M NOT YOU SEE,

I’M WEARING YOUR PAIN LIKE A CROWN.

NOT CARING THE MARKET IS DOWN!

The Prez

P.S. At the next meeting I will be asking for a raise. Your Prez is so on the cutting edge! I’d picked this song long before I heard it played in the background when Laura Ingram was filling in for our local talk guy on the radio. She played it for a few seconds as background for BO talking about something. I swear, I think she hacked into my computer. So glad she didn’t use my lyrics!

THAT'S AMORE?

2009-02-25T13:00:00.000-08:00

(Theme song for post: That's Amore)

Last night I could not bring myself to watch Obama address the nation. I would rather have been doing prep work for a colonoscopy...which, cross my heart, was exactly what I WAS doing! Unfortunately, I wasn't so lucky several weeks ago when I was "forced" to watch the Obamessiah's first prime-time press conference.

I say “forced” because I DID NOT want to look at his self-righteous mug or listen to his forked-tongue answers but my husband got home for dinner just as the news conference started. He wanted to watch it. So, we ate, I griped, we ate, I groused, we ate, I complained, we ate, I threw my fork at the TV, we ate, I shook my head, we ate, I sighed. My dear sweet husband pushed the wrong button when he said, “Just calm down, don’t get so worked up, there’s nothing you can do about it.” Now, mind you, he didn’t say that in a “poor baby, I know you’re upset, try not to take it so seriously” voice. Oh, no! My very conservative, ex military fighter pilot husband almost scolded me in a drill sergeant bark. What I heard was, “get a grip soldier, shape up, be a man, suck it up and move on, now give me 50 pushups.”

Really ticked off, I picked up my plate and glass and went to the sink to clean up. I ran the water, turned the garbage disposal on and off and made as much noise as I could possibly make to drown out the TV. The drill sergeant quickly finished his dinner and went into the bedroom to change.....with an ulterior motive as I found out when I went back there.....gasp......he had turned on the TV in the bedroom to listen to the Messiah.

I stormed to the computer to get away from the evil one on TV and clicked onto the Drudge Report. As I scanned the headlines, I swear, my eyeballs boinged out of their sockets, hit the computer screen and ricocheted back in....the left eye is still giving me problems. Do you know what the headline said???? I am not lying! It said, “many women, not too surprisingly,are dreaming about having sex with the president.” If you doubt me, check out this link. Have mercy! I’d rather have an affair with Charles Manson than with that schmarmy, swaggering Chicago pol. I clicked onto the article but couldn’t bring myself to read the whole thing. Talk about PERFECT TIMING, tho! I could use this to get back at the drill sergeant. I printed it out, marched downstairs, slammed it down in front of my husband and said to him, “ Read this. You know, the more I see of Barack, I like to call him Barack, it’s such a sexy name, the more I’m beginning to like him. I think it will take just a few more weeks and he’s really going to turn me on.”

So here’s the deal gals. I’m going to conduct a poll over the next 4 weeks. You see, the next GASP post won’t be until sometime around April 1st (hmmm...) The most integral part of GASP, our Secretary of State/Blog Manager/Editor/Grunt, is going to be on vacation. (Just how many titles does one person need?) She’s the one who does the fancy stuff. All I do is type. And, did you know this? If she thinks it’s pertinent and timely, she’ll post without......gasp.....asking me! Well, after being on the job for only three months, she’s demanding a 4-week vacation. She’s going to be in Utah visiting a son and daughter-in-law and in Idaho visiting another son and daughter-in-law and 2 grandchildren. Sorry, I can’t stop her.

Here is my scientific, one-question poll. Do not answer immediately. Keep this and answer the question at the end of March. We want to ascertain rational brain function over a lengthy period of time. Those of you who fail will be purged from this organization.

QUESTION

Have you gotten the tingle up your leg, not been able to resist it, crawled over broken glass to Washington D.C. and thrown your unmentionables over the beautiful black wrought iron fence onto the White House lawn? Did you get past this Secret Service agent? Notice the weapon in his left hand. He has been posted at the fence to thwart the hoards of women expected to storm the place on a chance they might be able to get to Barack?

Yes___ No____

This is going to be a real test. If, in 4 weeks, we have no defectors to the other side, we may have a chance to help this great country get back on the conservative track, forcing the liberal gravy train to take the side rail.

I can’t wait until we get back together.

As President Barack Obama always says, in a very presidential manner, when he’s finished addressing a group, no matter who they may be:

LOVE YOU GUYS!

The Prez

SCHOOL DAZE

2009-02-17T07:52:00.000-08:00

(Theme song for post: Smokin' in the Boys Room)

Gals, I found this report on my desk this morning and contacted the blog manager to get this posted as fast as we could. This is scary!

TOP SECRET REPORT FROM A MOLE INSIDE PRESIDENT UNIVERSITY

January 20, 2009. ACORN scholarship firmly in hand, an arrogant Barry Obama swaggered onto the campus of President University (PU) to enter the 44th class of one. He has been here for one month with 47 remaining to complete his studies. The question is, will he do well enough to go on to post graduate work or will he leave after 4 years? Most of the faculty here are hoping he flunks out.

Barry’s conduct has been less than stellar. He has been sent to the dean’s office to be reprimanded for downsizing the U.S. Marine Band’s duties at the White House. Instead of the trumpets, drums and tubas, a lone piano player provides the music before and after Barry’s appearances. He has done away with the usual military marching music in favor of tunes like Cole Porter’s “Night and Day” and Sting’s “Dessert Rose.” And, this cannot be proven, but from past actions, it is widely believed that Barry has been lighting up in the bathroom off the Oval Office (Of course, we acknowledge that in recent history, worse things have taken place in or just off the Oval Office). Below are the grades he has earned thus far:

ECONOMICS - F - Barry insists that the government stick it’s nose into the economy and will not let it recover on it’s own by giving tax breaks to businesses (the U.S. has the highest business tax, 35%, in the world). If he did this, the engine of this great country would restart itself. Is he intentionally killing the Goose that laid the Golden Egg?

HISTORY - F - See above. All throughout history, socialism has failed. Nations do not prosper under that system. He cares nothing about the individual prospering. He seems to be all about the government growing and reaching into every part of our lives. Is he such an ego maniac that he thinks THIS time HE will make socialism work?

INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS - F - For the first time in history Americans can agree with the president of a rogue nation. Iran’s president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, said that the United States has become passive by offering to talk. He said that shows the United States has lost and that Western ideology is dead. And, the piece de resistance: terrorists around the world are “high five’n” now that they know if captured by Americans they will be politely interrogated and served tea and crumpets. Nice going, Barry!

ETHICS - F -(double F)- The professor quit after just 4 weeks with Barry. There are too many things to mention all here. Tax cheats as nominees for posts and one getting through to head the Treasury Dept. is unconscionable. The man deliberately deceives. He said he wouldn’t deal with lobbyists–yes, he did. His was to be the most transparent administration ever–no, it is not. He said there would be 5 days to look at the stimulus bill before the vote. Nobody, not even congressmen and senators had time to read the behemoth bill before the vote that had to take place before the sky fell last Friday night. It was voted on an then Barry took a three day weekend and will not sign it until today. If it was so blasted important, why didn’t he sign it Friday night or Saturday? Oh, yes....there was that little three day Valentine’s Day get-away to Chicago with Michelle my Belle. Couldn’t that three day weekend have been used to let people read it and then vote today? Why the urgency. And, did you know that they did put the bill on the internet? Yes, they did....only it’s in pdf format. You cannot do a word search on the document. Clever move on the part of the most ethical administration ever, huh?

THEATER - A++ - Barry is a star in this class. He is nothing but a community activist taking it up several notches to the national level. He is doing a fabulous job playing a role. He knows “what he’s doing” and is playing the part of a president with the nation’s best interest as his number one priority. “What he’s doing” is leading our country into the beginnings of socialism which has been his intention from the start. He is a student of Saul Alinsky and used this man’s teachings in his activist work in Chicago. Now he has a national stage on which to perform and he is doing it brilliantly.

So, there you have it, Barry’s first report card in his PU years. He told the country he wanted change, he just didn’t tell us what that change was going to be. If you want to remove any doubt as to what kind of change, check out this link. It will make you gasp and might even cause nightmares.

The Prez

(Hey gals, we did a darn good job in picking a name for our club, didn’t we?)

WELCOME HOME TROOPS!

2009-02-14T12:48:00.000-08:00

(Theme song for post: American Soldier)

Every morning at DFW Airport, a plane arrives carrying soldiers returning to the States on their way home for leave from overseas deployments. Every day they are greeted by flag-waving volunteers from a program called “Welcome Home a Hero.” Dave and I went out today with a group from our church where we were honored to greet 164 troops. It was an emotional experience.

This couple in flag shirts drove from Denton, TX, to welcome the troops. That's not a short drive!

Brownies waiting to give the troops Girl Scout cookies.

Korean War veteran, Gene, and his wife, Judy, waiting to meet the troops.

Members of our Sunday school class. (Look closely, there's me (your Prez) and the First Husband!)

The lady with the megaphone is giving us instructions just prior to the troops coming out.

This soldier is the first one through the door.

A line of soldiers making their way through the crowd.

Your Prez and friends...the girl is going on to CA and the guy is going to Killeen, TX.

Soldier shaking hands with the Cub Scouts.

Stuffed camel on soldier's backpack....he was taking it to his 6 yr. old daughter in Kansas!

The Prez and soldier from Ft. Worth, who is going back in 10 days.

Soldier carrying his little boy.

The last soldier out!

On this Valentine’s Day, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your service and your dedication to keeping all of us here at home safe. Welcome home!

The Delirium Has Passed...

2009-02-12T15:15:00.000-08:00

(Theme song for post: Fever)

...and the fever is down. Senator Gregg has come to his senses and has withdrawn his nomination for Commerce Secretary. He finally realized that the stimulus plan AND the plan for the 2010 census to go to the White House were things he could NOT support in that capacity.

Commenting on this, the White House quickly issued a statement - "Gregg was the one who originally offered his name for the job. Once it became clear he could not support all of the president's agenda, "it became necessary for Senator Gregg and the Obama administration to part ways," said presidential press secretary Robert Gibbs. " If you believe that, I have some property at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in D.C. I could sell ya!!

What a Wonderful World!

2009-02-05T12:20:00.000-08:00

(Theme song for post: What a Wonderful World, You've Got a Friend)

It seems that our Secretary of State/Blog Manager/Editor/Grunt has been on a posting blitz this week. Between you and me.....gasp....I think she’s campaigning to get my position. When I had her vetted for her many jobs, my sources found her to be clean. I’m betting she’s got tax problems so she had better reign in her ambitions if she knows what’s good for her! Now that old business has been taken care of, we’ll get on with new business. Don’t you love my short meetings?

Today I feel like shifting gears, nothing political........I want to lift your spirits and help renew your faith in your fellow man. Not everybody is a tax cheat and out for him or herself. If you don’t have 10 minutes right now to sit quietly and read, come back later when you have no distractions. I promise, you won’t be sorry you didn’t rush through. You’ve heard of “six degrees of separation,” haven’t you? The articles below are each “two degrees of separation” from me.

FIRST STORY

You probably heard on national news or read last week about the girls’ basketball team here in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area.....one team beat the other 100 to 0. It got a lot of news coverage for days. A couple months ago there was another story that got little to no coverage. A GASP member, Colleen, told me about this article by Rick Reilly that appeared in ESPN Magazine (the same Rick Reilly that just last Sunday at the Super Bowl got the very first interview with Capt. Sullenberger, pilot of US Airways Flt. 1549). The two degrees of separation........I know a family whose daughter attends Grapevine Faith, the school the article is about, which is 11 miles from where I live.

Life of Reilly by Rick Reilly

Gainesville State Players douse head coach Mark Williams in celebration.

There are some games in which cheering for the other side feels better than winning.

They played the oddest game in high school football history last month down in Grapevine, Texas. It was Grapevine Faith vs. Gainesville State School and everything about it was upside down. For instance, when Gainesville came out to take the field, the Faith fans made a 40-yard spirit line for them to run through. Did you hear that? The other team's fans? They even made a banner for players to crash through at the end. It said, "Go Tornadoes!" Which is also weird, because Faith is the Lions.

It was rivers running uphill and cats petting dogs. More than 200 Faith fans sat on the Gainesville side and kept cheering the Gainesville players on—by name. "I never in my life thought I'd hear people cheering for us to hit their kids," recalls Gainesville's QB and middle linebacker, Isaiah. "I wouldn't expect another parent to tell somebody to hit their kids. But they wanted us to!"

And even though Faith walloped them 33-14, the Gainesville kids were so happy that after the game they gave head coach Mark Williams a sideline squirt-bottle shower like he'd just won state. Gotta be the first Gatorade bath in history for an 0-9 coach.

But then you saw the 12 uniformed officers escorting the 14 Gainesville players off the field and two and two started to make four. They lined the players up in groups of five—handcuffs ready in their back pockets—and marched them to the team bus. That's because Gainesville is a maximum-security correctional facility 75 miles north of Dallas. Every game it plays is on the road.

This all started when Faith's head coach, Kris Hogan, wanted to do something kind for the Gainesville team. Faith had never played Gainesville, but he already knew the score. After all, Faith was 7-2 going into the game, Gainesville 0-8 with 2 TDs all year. Faith has 70 kids, 11 coaches, the latest equipment and involved parents. Gainesville has a lot of kids with convictions for drugs, assault and robbery—many of whose families had disowned them—wearing seven-year-old shoulder pads and ancient helmets.

So Hogan had this idea. What if half of our fans—for one night only—cheered for the other team? He sent out an email asking the Faithful to do just that. "Here's the message I want you to send:" Hogan wrote. "You are just as valuable as any other person on planet Earth."

Some people were naturally confused. One Faith player walked into Hogan's office and asked, "Coach, why are we doing this?" And Hogan said, "Imagine if you didn't have a home life. Imagine if everybody had pretty much given up on you. Now imagine what it would mean for hundreds of people to suddenly believe in you."

Next thing you know, the Gainesville Tornadoes were turning around on their bench to see something they never had before. Hundreds of fans. And actual cheerleaders! "I thought maybe they were confused," said Alex, a Gainesville lineman (only first names are released by the prison). "They started yelling 'DEE-fense!' when their team had the ball. I said, 'What? Why they cheerin' for us?'"

It was a strange experience for boys who most people cross the street to avoid. "We can tell people are a little afraid of us when we come to the games," says Gerald, a lineman who will wind up doing more than three years. "You can see it in their eyes. They're lookin' at us like we're criminals. But these people, they were yellin' for us! By our names!"

Maybe it figures that Gainesville played better than it had all season, scoring the game's last two touchdowns. Of course, this might be because Hogan put his third-string nose guard at safety and his third-string cornerback at defensive end. Still.

After the game, both teams gathered in the middle of the field to pray and that's when Isaiah surprised everybody by asking to lead. "We had no idea what the kid was going to say," remembers Coach Hogan. But Isaiah said this: "Lord, I don't know how this happened, so I don't know how to say thank You, but I never would've known there was so many people in the world that cared about us."

And it was a good thing everybody's heads were bowed because they might've seen Hogan wiping away tears.

As the Tornadoes walked back to their bus under guard, they each were handed a bag for the ride home—a burger, some fries, a soda, some candy, a Bible and an encouraging letter from a Faith player. The Gainesville coach saw Hogan, grabbed him hard by the shoulders and said, "You'll never know what your people did for these kids tonight. You'll never, ever know."

And as the bus pulled away, all the Gainesville players crammed to one side and pressed their hands to the window, staring at these people they'd never met before, watching their waves and smiles disappearing into the night.

Anyway, with the economy six feet under and Christmas running on about three and a half reindeer, it's nice to know that one of the best presents you can give is still absolutely free.

Hope.

SECOND STORY

Click HERE to read an article that appears in the February Reader’s Digest. Maybe you’ve already read it. The two degrees of separation........I know a GASP member, Claudette, whose husband was a volunteer on this project. We are proud of you, TC!

Kindness is a language we all can speak....even the deaf can hear it and the blind can see it.

Honored to be your Prez

Another One Bites the Dust!

2009-02-03T09:50:00.000-08:00

(Theme song for post: Another One Bites the Dust)

Taxes ARE a good thing. Kept this guy from entering the cabinet. Bet he's wishing now he had the over $100,000 he spent on his "overlooked" taxes back in his pocket!!

The Government's in Control of Everything...

2009-02-01T21:01:00.001-08:00

(Theme song for post: Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now)

EVEN the Super Bowl!!

What do these things have in common:

Well, there was a lot of the yellow things thrown by the guys in stripes in favor of the man who gave the OTHER man a jersey with his name on it. Here's what the guy holding the jersey had to say about the guy who gave him the jersey:

"Rooney didn't just endorse me. That guy was out going to steel plants campaigning for me."

And, what did the guy who gave the jersey say AFTER the game?

Why, he said, "Thank you, President Obama."

Hmmm....

GOING ONCE, GOING TWICE...

2009-01-30T11:15:00.000-08:00

(Theme song for post: The Auctioneer)

CONTRACEPTION," argued Pelosi, "WILL REDUCE COSTS TO THE STATES AND TO THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT."

It has been revealed that prior to her contraception revelation she had secretly been working on a stimulus package involving children.

HEAR ME ROAR!

2009-01-26T17:44:00.000-08:00

(Theme song for post: I Am Woman)

(Editor’s Note: This is a follow-up to the previous post. If you are passing our way for the first time, you will need to read the post below, dated January 24, for this one to make sense.)

As promised previously, here is the “Editor Responds” that was printed under my January 9 letter asking for a refund on the remaining portion of my subscriptions. This was not about the money. It was about me having a visceral need to take action. The one subscription was a Christmas gift and mine had six months remaining. I did get a check in the mail for $50 yesterday. This is what the editor put beneath my cancellation letter:

Editor Responds

I am sending a refund today. Yes, Monroe City is a God-loving community that prides itself on the cooperation of the various denominations of the entire community. As a member of that community, I agree. I consider myself part of that community. I’ll probably get myself in more hot water here, creating the cardinal sin of mixing politics and religion but I like our new president and look forward to a new era.

In no way, do I think that Obama is God or Jesus. However, like Jesus, I think he brings hope to our nation, to our world. Like Jesus, and really like all of us, he has (had) friends from various backgrounds that the public could scrutinize. All of us have friends and family who sometimes make us shake our heads, but they remain our friends and family. Likewise, we have made our friends and family shake their heads at times. And oftentimes we shake our own heads in looking at past actions, and then, hopefully we bow our heads and ask for forgiveness from God. Yes, despite our differences and our failures, we remain friends, family, clergy and political associates. If he would walk away from those people, we would similarly be disappointed.

When someone subscribes to the paper for $25 or $30 (depending on where you live), I make a promise to deliver the hometown news to our readers, a promise and privilege I take seriously. But for $30 a year, I don’t give anyone the right to judge my faith. Linda

Ok, is it just me? Did she...GASP...do it again, compare Obama to Jesus? Just wondering. This is my real “letter to the editor” sent via email, making sure it got to her in time for this week’s paper.

Dear Editor,

In no way was it my intent to judge your faith. I am not a professional journalist and not as skilled a writer as you. I did make one mistake in writing my thoughts. I should have written, “I found your words to be bordering on sacrilegious,” not asking you why you did not. I was just wondering, not judging or questioning your faith. I was tired of the epidemic, adulatory Messianic references to Obama in the press and decided to put my money where my mouth was, so to speak. In fact, I was surprised to see my January 9 letter to you published in the paper. It was strictly a business letter asking you to cancel two subscriptions and giving you an explanation. The intent was not to get on a soap box and espouse my political views on the public square. It was your right to print what you printed and my right to cancel the paper. End of story.

I do have to disagree with one thing in your response to my letter. You said that, “....despite our differences and our failures, we remain friends, family and community, knowing the best and the worst of each other. I suspect that President Obama is no different in examining his friends, family, clergy and political associates. If he would walk away from those people, we would be similarly be disappointed.”

Well, Obama did just that. The minute he was told by his campaign staff that if he did not publicly disavow Jeremiah Wright he would not win the election, he cut all ties with the Reverend. I read the other day that they do not speak, they do not correspond. He sure didn’t stick by his pastor and friend of 20 years, did he? Ask Alice Palmer, once Obama’s political mentor, how he stuck by her when she wanted to keep her Illinois Senate seat.

Isn’t it a privilege that you can write in your paper whatever you believe? I have a blog for conservative women where I gently poke fun at our liberal friends and politicians and bemoan the lack of any strong conservative leaders in our party. Isn’t it wonderful that both of us can write whatever we want and have no fear of someone knocking on our doors to confiscate our computers? I’m sure we can both agree on one thing.....we are blessed to live in America.

There will be no more letters written to that newspaper. What’s that wise saying? Never get into a you-know-what contest with a newspaper because they have more ink than you do. Ah, yes, they have the ink, but do they have the music?

My tiny voice and our little blog will not make one whit of a difference in how the wheels turn in our bloated government. No strong Republican voices are speaking out for the conservative citizens in this country. I have never in my life felt so strongly about having to voice my opinion. I’ve just begun to exercise my vocal chords and I am not going to stop. This chick is learning how to shout. Maybe if we can all come together we’ll be loud enough for someone to hear us.

The Prez

P.S. I asked the blog manager to add “Community Activist” to the About Me section on the blog. Isn’t that how BO got started? Start saving change in a jar. I might need to be bailed out of jail in the future.

(Second Editor's Note - January 29, 2009! Here's the comment in the editorial regarding my letter (and the mistakes aren't mine - this is how is was printed):

Thanks to an on-line reader who sent the cost of a subscription to givea subscription to someone else (fi rst person from Hunnewell who comesin for a new subscription) to cover the loss of a subscription from a readerlast week unhappy with my post-holiday writings anticipating the newObama administration and celebrating the hope that a new administrationbrings. In that writer’s follow-up this week, there is a sentence thatrings true-we are lucky to live in the United States. In another country, wecould not even agree to disagree.

Like I said, they have more ink. This horse is dead!!)

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do (NOT!)

2009-01-24T15:57:00.000-08:00

(Theme song for post: Breaking up is Hard to Do)

Your Prez is back and stronger than ever. I appreciate our Secretary of State posting for me while I was incapacitated this past week. She did exaggerate slightly when she reported my Kleenex box was being depleted at a fast rate on inauguration day. I am proud of myself.....it was only a 4 tissue ordeal.

I do need to prove to the membership that I not only "talk-the-talk," I "walk-the-walk." On January 9 I mailed a letter to my hometown newspaper canceling two subscriptions and stating my reason. I had just read a lengthy editorial stating how in 2008 she had discovered how broken our government was and that was the year she became a liberal and yada, yada, yada. If she had stopped there I wouldn't have blown a gasket. Following is the letter I mailed.

Dear Linda,

I am writing to ask for a refund on the remaining balance of my subscription to the Lake Gazette. At the same time, please refund the remaining balance on the subscription I paid for as a gift for XXXXXX in XXXXXX, Arizona. We have talked and are of like mind that we no longer wish to receive the Lake Gazette. The deciding factor was the following portion of your editorial of December 31, 2008.

“Like others, I look forward with anticipation to the hope that the Obama administration offers, and pray that we have not staked too much in the hopes of one man. But I am reminded that Christians have rightly pinned their hopes and dreams on the one tiny babe born in a manger for over 2,000 years and we haven’t gone wrong yet.”

I am aware, and fully agree, that as editor it is your prerogative to print anything you wish. I am also sure that you would agree it is my right to not pay to read words that are offensive. My pointed disagreement with you is your comparison of Obama to Jesus Christ. That comparison has been made throughout the media in various ways for months now and I have bristled every time it was uttered or printed. As a small, hometown newspaper, I never thought I would see that comparison in print in the Lake Gazette. Monroe City, from my perception, is a God-loving community that prides itself on the cooperation of the various denominations for the good of the entire community. How can you, as a member of that community (and I presume a religious individual considering the references in your editorial to the social value of family and church and priests bringing communion to the hospital when your mother was hospitalized) not feel that the words you wrote are not bordering on sacrilegious? Obama is a mere man who has not come close to proving his character is above reproach and has been associated with some very undesirable characters throughout his political life–do you remember the Reverend Jeremiah Wright? This man you hold up along side the perfection of Jesus got his religion from a man who publicly blasphemed God in his anti-American rants.

No, Linda, I cannot pay to read the kind of words you printed. Please send me a refund for the balance of the subscriptions for which I previously paid.

Sincerely,

(YOU know who - won't put all the particulars here!)

Well......gasp.....she published my letter in her paper with a "how dare you" response. You will read her response and my second letter to her (my real "letter to the editor" which I emailed to her today) in the next post. If she doesn't publish this one, I may have to ask for donations from the membership to put in a full-page ad paid for by members of GASP. Hey, no complaining! You don't pay any dues, do you?

Stay tuned for........the rest of the story.

The Prez

Well, It's Official - We're an Obamanation

2009-01-21T18:27:00.000-08:00

(Theme song for post: It's My Party (and I'll cry if I want to), 96 Tears, Crying, Tears on My Pillow)

My fellow GASP members, it is your self-proclaimed SOS/Editor/Grunt here. I received an assignment by our fearless Prez to view the inaugural proceedings and make a report. It seems as though Madam Prez was not going to be able to handle this assignment and made plans accordingly. That’s what a good leader does – recognizes their weaknesses and delegates to those better able to handle the situation. (And, apparently her instincts were right on target – the oath had not yet been administered and apparently the Kleenex box was being depleted at a fast rate.) Now, initially, I had wished to decline the assignment. I pleaded my case, telling the Prez I had more important things to do – like watching the paint dry on my kitchen walls. But an order was issued and I felt it was my duty to respond to the call.

I sincerely tried to view the day as objective as I could. My thoughts were on President Bush and how sad it was he was leaving with such little support from the American people. He is a man of great character and integrity. It is evident just from the way he handled the transition – he was gracious and welcoming to the Obamas. He did not order or allow staff to trash the White House. He did not cart out crates of possessions to claim as his own for the Texas homestead. That should have been a story, but the media ignored it completely.

As the hours ticked away it became obvious to me that we have crossed the threshold of change alright. We have obviously changed our opinion on what constitutes good manners. It must now be A-OK to shout out boos and sing rudely “na na na na, hey, hey, good bye” to men that at that very second were still the President and Vice-President of the United States. (I won't even start with the rappers and their foul language toward President Bush on the eve of the inauguration.) We have changed into the people now occupying the “era of responsibility” (Obama’s term – not mine) – as in, it’s someone else’s responsibility to pick up after me. This picture of what remains on the mall grounds kind of represents what I feel like – the party’s over and all we have now is a bunch of trash (and not just on the grounds of DC).

We have changed into a nation that apparently has fallen so hard we need to “pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America” (again, Obama’s words – not mine). If you listened to the inaugural address, you heard how awful our new president believes we were prior to his coronation. I guess a lot of others believe we’ll be heading into the light now with the coming of Obamessiah. Don King said, “I would say that he [Obama] would be Joshua going across to the Promised Land…Martin Luther King Jr. went to the mountaintop like Moses, and he said, ‘I might not get there with you, but I can see the Promised Land.’ But we gonna’ get to the Promised Land. So Joshua carried them across. Martin Luther King, Jr. was prevented from going into the Promised Land.” Here’s another statement about which Biblical character Obama is most like: “I would say any one of the Biblical leaders,” said Denzel Washington’s mother, Lennis Washington, who was attending the inauguration with her son on Tuesday. “The apostle Paul, Moses, John the Baptist – any one of them. Seriously, he is like one of those apostles for our day. He came to lead us to the original design of what we are supposed to do on this earth.” When asked how Obama specifically has changed their lives, Smokey Robinson said this: “He has changed my life just like he has changed your life…If you are an American citizen, he has changed all of our lives. America has changed our lives. We are at last showing the world that we are who we say we are,” said Robinson, when asked to be more specific. “It’s truly a wonderful day for the world.” OK, can anyone tell what the heck he just said? What does that really mean??

It is beyond me how they think this man is going to change anything for the better. He said in his address “the time has come to set aside childish things.” Well, apparently Rahm Emanuel, his own Chief of Staff, didn’t get to read the speech ahead of time. Here’s Rahm at the inauguration.

And how about that closing prayer by the Rev-Rund Joseph Lowery: 'Lord…we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get in back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead, man; and when white will embrace what is right. That all those who do justice and love mercy say Amen. Say Amen. And Say Amen.” I have never been so angry during a prayer in my entire life as I was during this one. Offended? You betcha!

So, to recap, I took my assignment, I watched, I found it all repulsive and I reported. We are definitely an Obamanation. Pass the Kleenex, Prez.

Hail to the Chief

2009-01-19T00:01:00.000-08:00

(Theme song for Post: Hail to the Chief, Yellow Rose of Texas)

Dear Mr. President,

On this, the last day of your presidency, it is our privilege to be one of the last to honor you with “Hail to the Chief.” Please indulge me this lengthy farewell missive.

If I had the chance to spend just five minutes with you today, as one Prezident to another, I’d tell you that I am a little more than disappointed that I didn’t get the call to have lunch with you, your daddy, Jimmah, Bubba & BO. My suit was back from the cleaners, my bags were packed and I had a ride lined up to take me to the airport. Was it something I said?

Maybe you know that I haven’t always agreed with you on issues such as immigration or spending. For the life of me, I can’t figure out why you never attempted to cut back government spending. And, you let BO dictate that you go ahead and approve another 350 million to stimulate the economy. Why didn’t you say, “not just no, but hell no.” You said the other day that you abandoned your free market principles when your financial experts said we were on the brink of collapse if the bail out didn’t happen. It didn’t work then and now we’re doing more of the same?

Bail outs and stimulus packages aren’t the answer. Never works. Let the system purge itself of it’s poisons and start to heal on it’s own. Government intervention is not the answer for everything. The economy and the climate are cyclical. The more the government tinkers with the economy, the longer it takes to recover. Good grief. The government couldn’t run it’s own Congressional cafeteria without bungling things and had to turn the management over to the private sector. And, the global warming crisis? Humanity has the duty to be responsible for good stewardship of the environment but nothing we humans do can create climate change. Who caused the warming that did away with the ice age?

The government has been a feasting beast which has turned into a dangerous monster. More of this and more of that. More money is the answer, more agencies are the answer. Well, there is only one new department that I would approve of and that is the Department of Common Sense, DOCS. It would consist of 600 citizens that would have the power to override legislation that contained any hint of socialism or stupidity that the 535 members of Congress tried to enact. I would be Secretary of DOCS, members of GASP would be appointed and they would recruit like minds to fill the remaining seats. We would work for no pay, no perks, no pork and would not seek face time on TV. Our one and only responsibility would be to keep in check the corrupt, the egomaniacs and the incompetent elected officials who are woefully inept when it comes to running this country. Did I mention they couldn’t operate their own cafeteria?

You do know that you have been blamed for EVERYTHING, don’t you? I just read that this “depression” was caused by the policies of your administration. Do any Republicans in Washington have powerful enough lungs to scream out that the seeds of this economic downturn were planted long before you came on the scene? Nobody fights back up there. The lack of any conservative backbone in our party really makes me angry. I feel helpless and hopeless.

I am sick about the way the pit bull press has torn you apart from limb to limb over the years. It’s been painful to watch them take the GW bone in their teeth and never let go. They just kept pulling and growling. Heck, if I listened only to one of the big three networks, read just one newspaper or none at all....if I got my information from 30 minutes of biased nightly news....gasp.... I’d think you were an imbecile, too. I know of what I speak. One friend of mine gets her only news from ABC Nightly News and Good Morning America. She doesn’t read anything but novels. If I asked her to tell me who Jamie Gorelick is, she wouldn’t have a clue that she was Deputy Attorney General in the Democrat Clinton administration. My friend wouldn’t know that Gorelick was the one who created a wall between intelligence agencies preventing them from sharing information, information which may have helped to prevent 9/11. In my friend’s world, Democrats can do no wrong, Republicans can do no right and your eight years in office is the cause of all our problems. She hates you and thinks it’s terrible you are moving into a swanky part of Dallas. My question to her would be, “So, it’s fine and dandy that Clinton lives in a multi-million dollar home, but it’s not OK for Bush?” These people who were injected with the steady IV drip of bags and bags of the “George Bush Hate” serum were cured completely of any impartiality and reason. It’s been laughable to watch the pit bulls transform before my eyes into poodles. Malia and Sasha don’t have to go to the pound to pick out a pooch. They have hundreds of panting, slobbering lap dogs at their beck and call.

The media has been a powerful ally of the terrorists in this war, almost to the point of being treasonous at times. By always projecting the worst images and stories from Iraq and neglecting the steady progress being made and the good work our troops are doing, they orchestrated the public’s outcry for the immediate end of the war. Those on their daily dose of serum said, “Hey, we were on board for the “one hour” version of this war but now we have to sit through a mini series? We’ve got no patience, we’re out of here.” Between the media and those in power that have turned soft and won’t allow the military or intelligence to do their jobs, guess what? Lady Liberty has her hands tied behind her back and is vulnerable to having her throat cut at will.

I didn’t mean to go on and on like this, Mr. President. Tears fall as I write this letter to you. Unlike Michelle Obama, I have always been proud of and loved my country. But, this is the first time in my life that I have been disappointed in my fellow Americans. My tears are tears of disappointment, frustration and fear. Two days ago I heard BO say on TV to the crowd in Baltimore on his train trip to D.C. something like this, “the founders formed our imperfect Constitution which we can make more perfect.” So, he’s going to tweak the Constitution??? God, help us all.

Can you tell me, Mr. President, what’s in store for us? I trust you. You have kept us safe from attack these last eight years. This war against the radical Islamists is the greatest threat we’ve ever faced. You put your country first and made the tough decisions, never caving to be popular. Polls and politics were not your driving motivation. You came into the presidency armed with character and integrity. I think you are leaving Washington bruised, beaten down and very weary. The press and the Bush haters were not able to make one tiny chink in that character and integrity no matter how hard they pounded on you. You can leave the White House holding your head high. I am proud of you and thank you with all my heart. Welcome home, Mr. President, welcome home.

The Prez

If you want to view the home that George and Laura purchased in Dallas, go to this link: http://www.zillow.com/ Type in their address: 10141 Daria Place, Dallas, TX. It is located on a cul de sac and they are gating the entrance into that area. The place is nice, but when you get the aerial picture, move down the screen to see what is behind their house. It’s the monster mansion of Tom Hicks, owner of the Dallas Stars and the Texas Rangers.

(Note to members: When I enter the room at our next meeting, would someone please queue up “Hail to the Chief?” I’ve grown fond of that little ditty.)

LOVE TRAIN

2009-01-12T07:20:00.000-08:00

(Theme song for post: Love Train)

What is it with this guy? Is he all about props and appearances? We got the elaborate faux Greek temple backdrop for his convention speech. Some mentioned it looked to be a replica of the Lincoln Memorial or a mini Parthenon. Now we have BO's January 17 re-enactment of Lincoln's rail trip to Washington for the inauguration. I guess we're supposed to swoon at the imagery.

I almost upchucked my breakfast last week when I read in the paper that he was doing this. A local 34 year old single mother was invited to board the train in Philadelphia. She will join a group of 17 others who are being hailed as making "extraordinary contributions to the country by championing workers rights, serving in the military or trying to make it through today's tough economy." She's in "the trying to make it through this economy" group.

In the paper she was quoted as saying that BO's "candidacy had been a journey of regaining faith in the political process--and that anyone can accomplish any goal they set." Then she said about her son, "With him, nothing is impossible--this is how it should start being again. It's the way it used to be." Huh? Gibberish. That's the way BO campaigned. If she gets any time with him on the train she said there's something she'd like to tell him. This next sentence is the part that sent the coffee I'd just sipped spewing across the table. Big gasp here. This may be a double....gasp, gasp. "I'd say thank you," she said.

THANK YOU??

THANK YOU???

Oh, sweetie, sweetie. If I knew where you lived I'd drive over, knock on your door and say, "Girlfriend, can we talk? Can you tell me exactly what you are thanking BO for? Specifics now....real things to thank him for." I can only imagine her reply. "Well," she'd say, "I thank him for, for, uh, everything bad is going to go away and everything is going to be fixed when he's president and it's going to start being the way it used to be." Then I would say to her, "My dear woman, have you heard him say recently that things are so bad it may take years to fix this? He didn't say that to you when he came courting you, did he?" When Bush said things were bad the press accused him of scare tactics. All of a sudden now it's the Messiah pronouncing a great truth.

If only she knew the truth. This man has no fairy dust in his pockets to sprinkle around and magically transform this country into Camelot. My fear is that he is planning to do the exact opposite of what will turn the economy around by continuing this bail-out strategy and messing with our taxes.

I wish this man and his family nothing but good health and happiness always, but I want his presidency to fail. By that, I mean I don't want his agenda to succeed. No, I will not board BO's love train, his train of hope, his train of change. You can "keep the change," sir.

The Prez

WELCOME TO OUR WORLD!

2009-01-07T10:43:00.000-08:00

(Theme song for post: Welcome to Our World)

Dear GASP members, can you believe how far we've come in only two months? My bitter disappointment with the election results prompted me to email a few friends to form a group of like-minded women who could give each other support and to keep me from wandering out into traffic to end it all. I contacted 9 women. That number has grown to just under 30 members and as we've grown and banded together, look at what we have now....gasp....a blog of our own. We owe this giant step to a very talented Vice Prezident, Laura, who will be the manager of our blog. At our next meeting, we'll show her just how much we appreciate what she's done for us. Yes, our troops are armed and ready for anything BO throws at us after January 20.

For those of you who are new, a little background on our name, GASP. I asked those friends I initially contacted to vote on a name for our club. I gave them 3 choices. 1.) GASP - Gals Against Socialism 2.) SOB - Surviving Obama's Bamboozle 3.) SORRY - Surviving Obama's Reigning Radical Years. We voted and democratically chose GASP, but that's the last thing that was done by consensus. I declared myself your Prez and pretty much do whatever I want, although I have appointed each and every one of you Vice Prezident, so you do have some input....or not. Come to think of it, I may be losing my grip and might have to rescind the offer of input from my officers. Our blog manager, V.P. Laura, seems to be grabbing at power. Not long ago she did appoint herself our SOS (Secretary of State). That's good. We need someone to speak for us any time we have to negotiate with the other side. She can handle that. Then she appointed herself editor of the blog after she appointed herself blog manager. (Hmmm...I wonder if this is how Obama felt after appointing Hillary Secretary of State?)

Below are the three newsletters (and I use that term loosely), that were previously, ya know, sent out my email. I'm including them in, ya know, the new blog for the members who weren't with us at the beginning. You'll get a little flavor, ya know, of how we do business. I will try to post, ya know, at least once a month....or not. I say "or not" quite a bit, ya know. Oh, sorry about that. Guess I listened to that Caroline Kennedy interview one too many times. Geeze, now there's a really sharp cookie. And, they thought George Bush couldn't talk!

If you post comments on the blog, please remember to be respectful and considerate of others. If not, I'll jerk your membership, ya know! Welcome aboard!

The Prez

* * * * * * * * * * *

IT'S OFFICIAL

Dear Charter Members:

The votes have been counted and our club's name will be GASP (Gals Against Socialist Policies). I am so very pleased with the response. Some of you contacted friends and they joined. Just a few did not reply, but I understand. You may still be despondent two weeks after the election and can't bring yourself to function just yet. We're here for you! These are your fellow GASP members: Mary, Laura, Marce, Virginia, Kelly, Marilyn, Colleen, Billie, Pat, Millie, Pris, Karen, Sue and me. I have appointed myself Prezident. Until such time as we can all get together to have a meeting.......well, that's just the way it's going to be. I'm Prez! I have appointed all of you Vice Prezident.

Here's the breakdown of the votes: GASP 4, SOB 2, SORRY 2. I didn't vote. One of you voted for all three so I threw that one out. I think one of you (I won't mention names, Kelly) thought SOB stood for something not very nice. I assure you that never entered my mind. I meant it to be sob, as in boo-hoo!

The only bylaw we have right now is to support each other with phone calls or emails, and I need your support. For instance, I've stopped watching the news. I would appreciate it if you would call me if the United States is attacked or if Brad and Angelina have another baby or....GASP....should ever get divorced (disclaimer by editor - I know they aren't legally married!). I spend my days listening to music and walking outdoors to marvel at the beauty of nature before global warming destroys the planet then I come home and eat everything in sight. That's how I deal with depression. I eat. How about you?

The first order of business is to decide what we will do on inauguration day. I wish I could charter a jet and fly us all to Bora Bora, Bali or the moon, but that's not doable. I will not watch any of it and would like to be very distracted by doing something fun. The floor is open. Please let everyone know of any suggestions you have to get through the day on January 20, 2009.

Respectfully yours,
The Prez

* * * * * * * * * * *

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Hello There Gals!

The Prez here. I wanted to let you know that I plan on sending out a newsletter every week.........OR NOT. Hey, I'm the Prez so if I don't want to I'm not going to! I am thrilled that we are getting so many responses from members. It's elevated my mood tremendously. The more all you V.P.'s email, the less I have to do!

We have a new member, Peggy, from Missouri. Welcome! FYI, the current membership includes gals from TX, OK, AZ, MO, WI and FL. If I've left out a state, please let me know.

Sure sounds like BO is failing in one of his campaign promises. CHANGE? WHAT CHANGE? Gasp.......sure looks like a rerun of the Clintonistas, doesn't it?

Did anyone see the Zogby poll taken of Obama voters? The media was all about polls and staked their jobs on them before the election. Well, this poll is a little disturbing. Almost all had at least a high school education and over half were college graduates. This, my friends, is scary. (Oooops! Didn't mean to slip into McCaineese)

Here are some of the results of the poll:

97.1% High School Graduate or higher, 55% College GraduatesResults to 12 simple Multiple Choice Questions 57.4% could NOT correctly say which party controls congress (50/50 shot just by guessing) "What," they said, "the wascally weepubwicans aren't in control???"

81.8% could NOT correctly say Joe Biden quit a previous campaign because of plagiarism (25% chance by guessing)

82.6% could NOT correctly say that Barack Obama won his first election by getting opponents kicked off the ballot (25% chance by guessing)

88.4% could NOT correctly say that Obama said his policies would likely bankrupt the coal industry and make energy rates skyrocket (25% chance by guessing)

56.1% could NOT correctly say Obama started his political career at the home of two former members of the Weather Underground (25% chance by guessing)

One of my favorites was that most thought Palin was the candidate who said they had "campaigned in all 57 states." If she HAD said that it would have been the end of her. Because The Messiah said that......I heard the clip with my own ears, didn't you?....the mainstream media didn't beat it like a drum and it went away. Yeah, yeah, I know. It was just a slip of the tongue. That's my point. A slip of the tongue by McCain or Palin would not have been a slip of the tongue. It would have been stupidity or senility, depending on which one said it.

There will be no newsletter next week. I will be in Utah for Thanksgiving and Laura, our SOS, will be hunting elk in northern Arizona. Yes, gals, we have our very own Sarah Palin in our ranks! Millie is off on her 21 day cruise. Hope the rest of you have a wonderful holiday and I'll try to get at least one newsletter out before Christmas.......OR NOT!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

THE PREZ
(Does that mean I'm a turkey?)

* * * * * * * * * * *

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

This is not a newsletter, gals, just a note from your Prez to wish ya'll a Merry Christmas and to do just a teeny bit of business before the year ends. If any of you would like to be taken off the mailing list (gasp!!), please shoot me an email and the communication department will remove your name. I would strongly suggest that you not do that, but it is entirely up to you. I don't know how you will cope out there floundering about all on your own. We are going to need each other in the coming years for support and comfort. But, no pressure from me, oh, no!

A few weeks ago I received a gift from a Vice Prezident. I'm looking at it now as I type. It is a giant desk name plate...background is red, of course, and printed in white is "Elaine - Prez," underneath that is "GASP." (Ahem, ahem. This is the only gift I have received to date. Don't you know that in politics favors can be bought? Is there only one amongst you who knows how the system works?)

I believe you all know that I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer when it comes to computers and how to do all that fancy stuff. Heck, I centered the heading up there on my screen but can't guarantee when you receive it that it won't all be over to the left margin! (Hey, since when has being unqualified ever stopped someone from being president?) I am woefully inept at putting out a newsletter. There is one Vice Prezident that I'm aware of who is very talented in that area. After the first of the year I am going to appoint her to do the monthly newsletter. She is being vetted for this position as we speak and I can only hope that she hasn't been caught on tape talking trash about me! Never fear. She will be only the editor of the newsletter. I will still be your Prez!

This morning I read in the paper that BO is off on his final 12 day getaway to Hawaii before he assumes office. What wasn't reported is that he was heard singing this Christmas hymn as he was kicking up sand strolling along the beach practicing his salute. Be afraid, very afraid!

O COME ALL YE FAITHFUL

O come, all ye faithful,
Stupid fools, you're gullible!
O, come ye, O come ye to radical change;
Come and behold me,
Born to be Messiah:
O, come, let you adore me,
O, come, let you adore me,
O, come, let you adore me,
RULER OF ALL!

Highest, most wily,
Duped you all completely,
Born in Kenya
I am not a citizen;
Son of a Muslim,
Wright's rants were awe inspiring,
O, come let you adore me,
O, come let you adore me,
O, come let you adore me,
O - BA - A - A- MA!

I wish you all a wonderful, blessed Christmas and a....a....a....
(I just can't bring myself to say a Happy New Year because, well, you know. And, I've developed O phobia. More about that next month.)

The Prez