THAT'S AMORE?

(Theme song for post: That's Amore)

Last night I could not bring myself to watch Obama address the nation. I would rather have been doing prep work for a colonoscopy...which, cross my heart, was exactly what I WAS doing! Unfortunately, I wasn't so lucky several weeks ago when I was "forced" to watch the Obamessiah's first prime-time press conference.


I say “forced” because I DID NOT want to look at his self-righteous mug or listen to his forked-tongue answers but my husband got home for dinner just as the news conference started. He wanted to watch it. So, we ate, I griped, we ate, I groused, we ate, I complained, we ate, I threw my fork at the TV, we ate, I shook my head, we ate, I sighed. My dear sweet husband pushed the wrong button when he said, “Just calm down, don’t get so worked up, there’s nothing you can do about it.” Now, mind you, he didn’t say that in a “poor baby, I know you’re upset, try not to take it so seriously” voice. Oh, no! My very conservative, ex military fighter pilot husband almost scolded me in a drill sergeant bark. What I heard was, “get a grip soldier, shape up, be a man, suck it up and move on, now give me 50 pushups.”

Really ticked off, I picked up my plate and glass and went to the sink to clean up. I ran the water, turned the garbage disposal on and off and made as much noise as I could possibly make to drown out the TV. The drill sergeant quickly finished his dinner and went into the bedroom to change.....with an ulterior motive as I found out when I went back there.....gasp......he had turned on the TV in the bedroom to listen to the Messiah.

I stormed to the computer to get away from the evil one on TV and clicked onto the Drudge Report. As I scanned the headlines, I swear, my eyeballs boinged out of their sockets, hit the computer screen and ricocheted back in....the left eye is still giving me problems. Do you know what the headline said???? I am not lying! It said, “many women, not too surprisingly,are dreaming about having sex with the president.” If you doubt me, check out this link. Have mercy! I’d rather have an affair with Charles Manson than with that schmarmy, swaggering Chicago pol. I clicked onto the article but couldn’t bring myself to read the whole thing. Talk about PERFECT TIMING, tho! I could use this to get back at the drill sergeant. I printed it out, marched downstairs, slammed it down in front of my husband and said to him, “ Read this. You know, the more I see of Barack, I like to call him Barack, it’s such a sexy name, the more I’m beginning to like him. I think it will take just a few more weeks and he’s really going to turn me on.”

So here’s the deal gals. I’m going to conduct a poll over the next 4 weeks. You see, the next GASP post won’t be until sometime around April 1st (hmmm...) The most integral part of GASP, our Secretary of State/Blog Manager/Editor/Grunt, is going to be on vacation. (Just how many titles does one person need?) She’s the one who does the fancy stuff. All I do is type. And, did you know this? If she thinks it’s pertinent and timely, she’ll post without......gasp.....asking me! Well, after being on the job for only three months, she’s demanding a 4-week vacation. She’s going to be in Utah visiting a son and daughter-in-law and in Idaho visiting another son and daughter-in-law and 2 grandchildren. Sorry, I can’t stop her.

Here is my scientific, one-question poll. Do not answer immediately. Keep this and answer the question at the end of March. We want to ascertain rational brain function over a lengthy period of time. Those of you who fail will be purged from this organization.

QUESTION

Have you gotten the tingle up your leg, not been able to resist it, crawled over broken glass to Washington D.C. and thrown your unmentionables over the beautiful black wrought iron fence onto the White House lawn? Did you get past this Secret Service agent? Notice the weapon in his left hand. He has been posted at the fence to thwart the hoards of women expected to storm the place on a chance they might be able to get to Barack?

Yes___ No____

This is going to be a real test. If, in 4 weeks, we have no defectors to the other side, we may have a chance to help this great country get back on the conservative track, forcing the liberal gravy train to take the side rail.

I can’t wait until we get back together.

As President Barack Obama always says, in a very presidential manner, when he’s finished addressing a group, no matter who they may be:

LOVE YOU GUYS!

The Prez

SCHOOL DAZE

(Theme song for post: Smokin' in the Boys Room)

Gals, I found this report on my desk this morning and contacted the blog manager to get this posted as fast as we could. This is scary!



TOP SECRET REPORT FROM A MOLE INSIDE PRESIDENT UNIVERSITY

January 20, 2009. ACORN scholarship firmly in hand, an arrogant Barry Obama swaggered onto the campus of President University (PU) to enter the 44th class of one. He has been here for one month with 47 remaining to complete his studies. The question is, will he do well enough to go on to post graduate work or will he leave after 4 years? Most of the faculty here are hoping he flunks out.

Barry’s conduct has been less than stellar. He has been sent to the dean’s office to be reprimanded for downsizing the U.S. Marine Band’s duties at the White House. Instead of the trumpets, drums and tubas, a lone piano player provides the music before and after Barry’s appearances. He has done away with the usual military marching music in favor of tunes like Cole Porter’s “Night and Day” and Sting’s “Dessert Rose.” And, this cannot be proven, but from past actions, it is widely believed that Barry has been lighting up in the bathroom off the Oval Office (Of course, we acknowledge that in recent history, worse things have taken place in or just off the Oval Office). Below are the grades he has earned thus far:

ECONOMICS - F - Barry insists that the government stick it’s nose into the economy and will not let it recover on it’s own by giving tax breaks to businesses (the U.S. has the highest business tax, 35%, in the world). If he did this, the engine of this great country would restart itself. Is he intentionally killing the Goose that laid the Golden Egg?

HISTORY - F - See above. All throughout history, socialism has failed. Nations do not prosper under that system. He cares nothing about the individual prospering. He seems to be all about the government growing and reaching into every part of our lives. Is he such an ego maniac that he thinks THIS time HE will make socialism work?

INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS - F - For the first time in history Americans can agree with the president of a rogue nation. Iran’s president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, said that the United States has become passive by offering to talk. He said that shows the United States has lost and that Western ideology is dead. And, the piece de resistance: terrorists around the world are “high five’n” now that they know if captured by Americans they will be politely interrogated and served tea and crumpets. Nice going, Barry!

ETHICS - F -(double F)- The professor quit after just 4 weeks with Barry. There are too many things to mention all here. Tax cheats as nominees for posts and one getting through to head the Treasury Dept. is unconscionable. The man deliberately deceives. He said he wouldn’t deal with lobbyists–yes, he did. His was to be the most transparent administration ever–no, it is not. He said there would be 5 days to look at the stimulus bill before the vote. Nobody, not even congressmen and senators had time to read the behemoth bill before the vote that had to take place before the sky fell last Friday night. It was voted on an then Barry took a three day weekend and will not sign it until today. If it was so blasted important, why didn’t he sign it Friday night or Saturday? Oh, yes....there was that little three day Valentine’s Day get-away to Chicago with Michelle my Belle. Couldn’t that three day weekend have been used to let people read it and then vote today? Why the urgency. And, did you know that they did put the bill on the internet? Yes, they did....only it’s in pdf format. You cannot do a word search on the document. Clever move on the part of the most ethical administration ever, huh?

THEATER - A++ - Barry is a star in this class. He is nothing but a community activist taking it up several notches to the national level. He is doing a fabulous job playing a role. He knows “what he’s doing” and is playing the part of a president with the nation’s best interest as his number one priority. “What he’s doing” is leading our country into the beginnings of socialism which has been his intention from the start. He is a student of Saul Alinsky and used this man’s teachings in his activist work in Chicago. Now he has a national stage on which to perform and he is doing it brilliantly.

So, there you have it, Barry’s first report card in his PU years. He told the country he wanted change, he just didn’t tell us what that change was going to be. If you want to remove any doubt as to what kind of change, check out this link. It will make you gasp and might even cause nightmares.

The Prez

(Hey gals, we did a darn good job in picking a name for our club, didn’t we?)

WELCOME HOME TROOPS!

(Theme song for post: American Soldier)

Every morning at DFW Airport, a plane arrives carrying soldiers returning to the States on their way home for leave from overseas deployments. Every day they are greeted by flag-waving volunteers from a program called “Welcome Home a Hero.” Dave and I went out today with a group from our church where we were honored to greet 164 troops. It was an emotional experience.

This couple in flag shirts drove from Denton, TX, to welcome the troops. That's not a short drive!

Brownies waiting to give the troops Girl Scout cookies.

Korean War veteran, Gene, and his wife, Judy, waiting to meet the troops.

Members of our Sunday school class. (Look closely, there's me (your Prez) and the First Husband!)

The lady with the megaphone is giving us instructions just prior to the troops coming out.

This soldier is the first one through the door.

A line of soldiers making their way through the crowd.

Your Prez and friends...the girl is going on to CA and the guy is going to Killeen, TX.

Soldier shaking hands with the Cub Scouts.

Stuffed camel on soldier's backpack....he was taking it to his 6 yr. old daughter in Kansas!

The Prez and soldier from Ft. Worth, who is going back in 10 days.

Soldier carrying his little boy.

The last soldier out!

On this Valentine’s Day, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your service and your dedication to keeping all of us here at home safe. Welcome home!

The Delirium Has Passed...

(Theme song for post: Fever)

...and the fever is down. Senator Gregg has come to his senses and has withdrawn his nomination for Commerce Secretary. He finally realized that the stimulus plan AND the plan for the 2010 census to go to the White House were things he could NOT support in that capacity.







Commenting on this, the White House quickly issued a statement - "Gregg was the one who originally offered his name for the job. Once it became clear he could not support all of the president's agenda, "it became necessary for Senator Gregg and the Obama administration to part ways," said presidential press secretary Robert Gibbs. " If you believe that, I have some property at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in D.C. I could sell ya!!

What a Wonderful World!

(Theme song for post: What a Wonderful World, You've Got a Friend)

It seems that our Secretary of State/Blog Manager/Editor/Grunt has been on a posting blitz this week. Between you and me.....gasp....I think she’s campaigning to get my position. When I had her vetted for her many jobs, my sources found her to be clean. I’m betting she’s got tax problems so she had better reign in her ambitions if she knows what’s good for her! Now that old business has been taken care of, we’ll get on with new business. Don’t you love my short meetings?

Today I feel like shifting gears, nothing political........I want to lift your spirits and help renew your faith in your fellow man. Not everybody is a tax cheat and out for him or herself. If you don’t have 10 minutes right now to sit quietly and read, come back later when you have no distractions. I promise, you won’t be sorry you didn’t rush through. You’ve heard of “six degrees of separation,” haven’t you? The articles below are each “two degrees of separation” from me.

FIRST STORY

You probably heard on national news or read last week about the girls’ basketball team here in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area.....one team beat the other 100 to 0. It got a lot of news coverage for days. A couple months ago there was another story that got little to no coverage. A GASP member, Colleen, told me about this article by Rick Reilly that appeared in ESPN Magazine (the same Rick Reilly that just last Sunday at the Super Bowl got the very first interview with Capt. Sullenberger, pilot of US Airways Flt. 1549). The two degrees of separation........I know a family whose daughter attends Grapevine Faith, the school the article is about, which is 11 miles from where I live.

Life of Reilly by Rick Reilly

Gainesville State Players douse head coach Mark Williams in celebration.

There are some games in which cheering for the other side feels better than winning.

They played the oddest game in high school football history last month down in Grapevine, Texas. It was Grapevine Faith vs. Gainesville State School and everything about it was upside down. For instance, when Gainesville came out to take the field, the Faith fans made a 40-yard spirit line for them to run through. Did you hear that? The other team's fans? They even made a banner for players to crash through at the end. It said, "Go Tornadoes!" Which is also weird, because Faith is the Lions.

It was rivers running uphill and cats petting dogs. More than 200 Faith fans sat on the Gainesville side and kept cheering the Gainesville players on—by name. "I never in my life thought I'd hear people cheering for us to hit their kids," recalls Gainesville's QB and middle linebacker, Isaiah. "I wouldn't expect another parent to tell somebody to hit their kids. But they wanted us to!"

And even though Faith walloped them 33-14, the Gainesville kids were so happy that after the game they gave head coach Mark Williams a sideline squirt-bottle shower like he'd just won state. Gotta be the first Gatorade bath in history for an 0-9 coach.

But then you saw the 12 uniformed officers escorting the 14 Gainesville players off the field and two and two started to make four. They lined the players up in groups of five—handcuffs ready in their back pockets—and marched them to the team bus. That's because Gainesville is a maximum-security correctional facility 75 miles north of Dallas. Every game it plays is on the road.

This all started when Faith's head coach, Kris Hogan, wanted to do something kind for the Gainesville team. Faith had never played Gainesville, but he already knew the score. After all, Faith was 7-2 going into the game, Gainesville 0-8 with 2 TDs all year. Faith has 70 kids, 11 coaches, the latest equipment and involved parents. Gainesville has a lot of kids with convictions for drugs, assault and robbery—many of whose families had disowned them—wearing seven-year-old shoulder pads and ancient helmets.

So Hogan had this idea. What if half of our fans—for one night only—cheered for the other team? He sent out an email asking the Faithful to do just that. "Here's the message I want you to send:" Hogan wrote. "You are just as valuable as any other person on planet Earth."

Some people were naturally confused. One Faith player walked into Hogan's office and asked, "Coach, why are we doing this?" And Hogan said, "Imagine if you didn't have a home life. Imagine if everybody had pretty much given up on you. Now imagine what it would mean for hundreds of people to suddenly believe in you."

Next thing you know, the Gainesville Tornadoes were turning around on their bench to see something they never had before. Hundreds of fans. And actual cheerleaders! "I thought maybe they were confused," said Alex, a Gainesville lineman (only first names are released by the prison). "They started yelling 'DEE-fense!' when their team had the ball. I said, 'What? Why they cheerin' for us?'"

It was a strange experience for boys who most people cross the street to avoid. "We can tell people are a little afraid of us when we come to the games," says Gerald, a lineman who will wind up doing more than three years. "You can see it in their eyes. They're lookin' at us like we're criminals. But these people, they were yellin' for us! By our names!"

Maybe it figures that Gainesville played better than it had all season, scoring the game's last two touchdowns. Of course, this might be because Hogan put his third-string nose guard at safety and his third-string cornerback at defensive end. Still.

After the game, both teams gathered in the middle of the field to pray and that's when Isaiah surprised everybody by asking to lead. "We had no idea what the kid was going to say," remembers Coach Hogan. But Isaiah said this: "Lord, I don't know how this happened, so I don't know how to say thank You, but I never would've known there was so many people in the world that cared about us."

And it was a good thing everybody's heads were bowed because they might've seen Hogan wiping away tears.

As the Tornadoes walked back to their bus under guard, they each were handed a bag for the ride home—a burger, some fries, a soda, some candy, a Bible and an encouraging letter from a Faith player. The Gainesville coach saw Hogan, grabbed him hard by the shoulders and said, "You'll never know what your people did for these kids tonight. You'll never, ever know."

And as the bus pulled away, all the Gainesville players crammed to one side and pressed their hands to the window, staring at these people they'd never met before, watching their waves and smiles disappearing into the night.

Anyway, with the economy six feet under and Christmas running on about three and a half reindeer, it's nice to know that one of the best presents you can give is still absolutely free.

Hope.

SECOND STORY

Click HERE to read an article that appears in the February Reader’s Digest. Maybe you’ve already read it. The two degrees of separation........I know a GASP member, Claudette, whose husband was a volunteer on this project. We are proud of you, TC!



Kindness is a language we all can speak....even the deaf can hear it and the blind can see it.

Honored to be your Prez

Another One Bites the Dust!

(Theme song for post: Another One Bites the Dust)

Taxes ARE a good thing. Kept this guy from entering the cabinet. Bet he's wishing now he had the over $100,000 he spent on his "overlooked" taxes back in his pocket!!

The Government's in Control of Everything...

(Theme song for post: Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now)

EVEN the Super Bowl!!

What do these things have in common:




















Well, there was a lot of the yellow things thrown by the guys in stripes in favor of the man who gave the OTHER man a jersey with his name on it. Here's what the guy holding the jersey had to say about the guy who gave him the jersey:



"Rooney didn't just endorse me. That guy was out going to steel plants campaigning for me."



And, what did the guy who gave the jersey say AFTER the game?



Why, he said, "Thank you, President Obama."



Hmmm....