FIRE THE RULING CLASS!!

Are you furious with your representation in Washington? Are you fearful of the future? Do you want a complete overhaul? Are you fed up with the corruption in DC? Do you want to do something about it?


There is a wonderful new web site that lets YOU decide when “enough is enough.” You can let your senators and your congressman know how long you think they should serve in office. You can take a pledge that you are going to support ANY CANDIDATE FROM ANY PARTY who will limit the size and the reach of the federal government.

Go to THIS site (www.firetherulingclass.org) and read the mission statement and the “Who We Are” page. Then check out the other pages and take the pledge. It will be so exciting to see the number of pledges on the interactive map of the United States increase as the days and months go by. The 2010 election will be here before you know it. It is crucial that there be a huge turnout for the primaries.

















Be sure to check out the links at the bottom of the web site. The slogans on the bumper stickers and the t-shirts are fabulous! Yes siree sir (that’s grass roots talk), we will let the Kings, Queens, Bishops and Knights know that their reign is coming to an end. Give this link to everybody you know and encourage them to pledge their vote.



GRASS ROOTS are going to catch on fire like we have never seen before. The United States Capitol is going to be consumed in the mother of all grass fires. (Note to Homeland Security....that is figurative, not literal). From the ashes we can pray a new brand of leadership will arise to give our government back to WE THE PEOPLE.




THE PREZ

THE ENTERTAINER

(Theme song for post: The Entertainer)

Daaawling, BO, make up your mind. Do you want to be a movie star or Broadway star or TV star or do you want to be president? It seems to me that all you’ve done in the last 8 months is mug for the camera. Oh, and that’s quite an act you put on when you make your speeches. Do you ever shut down the campaign mode during your oratory or is that the only way you know how to speak? It is sooooo not presidential, daaawling. That ranting and raving in the middle of the speech to the joint session of Congress recently....tsk, tsk. I know, it is hard to turn off Jeremiah Wright in your head, isn’t it?

Here’s an idea for you, chump, uh uh, I mean, daaawling. Get yourself a studio in Hollywood or a stage on Broadway and stay there. You can play before huge, adoring crowds every single day of the year. It will be “maaawvelous!” Well, every day might be a bit much. You can take Mondays off and let your understudy, Biden, go on for you. The farther away from the White House you are, the better off we are. Play act where you can do no harm.

I think the citizens of this country are beginning to see you for what you are, daaawling, a complete phoney, a two-bit actor. You wanted to ride your star through a glorious 8-year run in “The President of the United States,” and come out on the far side as THE one who changed the country. Change, change, change, that’s all you talked about. You knew exactly what kind of change you wanted. Now people are beginning to see what you envision for America and they want no part of it. A lot of us were on to you a year ago, daaawling. The applause isn’t so loud anymore, is it?

You’ve run into very tough critics, daaawling BO. We aren’t.....gasp.....the New York Times!! Your 8-year run is going to be cut in half and you’ll be sent packing back to little theater performances in Chicago. If you can, in any way, be tied to the ACORN scandal, or if Blogo’s buddies sing, maybe the understudy will have to take over your role before this 4-year run ends. I doubt that will ever happen, though. It is apparent to me that your agents, producers and directors are doing such a maaawvelous job taking care of the star in their stable. Just like the glory days of Hollywood, all publicity about how wonderful you are is a bunch of crap, daaawling. Ahh, if we only had the true biography!

Are you the least bit tired from the 5 appearances on the political shows today? Hurry along now. The make-up lady is ready for you.....powder your nose.....it’s time to take the stage on Letterman. How DID you get him to give you the whole hour, daaawling? I must say, you ARE entertaining. Kissy-kiss! We must do lunch!

The Prez

WE'VE ONLY JUST BEGUN

(Theme song for post: We've Only Just Begun)

The two of us, you and me, then you and someone else, and on and on. This is how a movement grows. We have to harness the energy created this past weekend and work harder to keep the pressure on our elected officials. We are tired of big government, big spending and all the corrruption!


It was an unbelievable experience to be among the million plus attending the 9-12 March. (The U.S. media says around 60,000....the British say 2 million....I know it was at least one million.) There is no way to convey what it was like, either in print or pictures. In four days we talked to hundreds of people or just gave a smile and a “thumbs up” signal. Conversations would pop up between tables at restaurants, on tour busses, passing in the street, in the elevator at the hotel. This is what I thought when talking to people from all over the country: “I just met you, but I’ve known you all my life.”


Enjoy this sampling of the hundreds of pictures from our trip to Washington, D.C. I wish I could have taken everyone of you with me. The pictures were taken by our Photo Journalist Czarina Stacy, who was ably assisted by Czarina Melody. Stacy is a professional photographer here in the Metroplex. (Stacy Bratton Photography, Colleyville, Texas (www.baby-photographer.com) for more information on 9.12DC photos, call 214.793.5899.)





Spontaneous crowd Friday night for the arrival of the Tea Party Express. Seriously, totally word of mouth!

Heading to the rally early Saturday morning. Ready to march are the Prez, Czars and Czarinas!

Unable to march, but they were there!

This was our vantage point. Can you see the back of your Prez?




















Look how far way these folks were from the Capitol. They couldn't see anything! Still believe there were only 60,000 people there?





















Just before we headed home, I had a “Fellow-Conservative-Columnist to Fellow-Conservative-Columnist” meeting at the airport with the one and only...GASP...Cal Thomas. You see, your Prez is always working for you! He told me he was proud of us for what we do and to keep going, to not give up. I know I never will.





The Prez

WE WERE THERE!!

(Theme song for post: When the Saints Go Marching In)

Well, "we" as in GASP! We were represented. We had a voice. We stood up and were counted. We are doing something. We have a right to speak. We are not Nazis. We are not "astroturf." We, the people of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity,.... Oops, guess I got "all ‘We-Weed’ up," to coin Obama's phrase!

Anyway, our Prez and Czarinas Marcia and Virginia did us proud. Here are a couple of pictures of the day to tide you over until the Prez returns.

D.C. UPDATE

(Theme song for post: When the Saints Go Marching In)

Things are getting exciting, folks!! Our Prez and her posse are already raising a ruckus! Check out their warm-up for tomorrow:

If you are tracking the day's events tomorrow, listen for their chant!!

After their tactical meeting, they headed to where the Tea Party Express was ending its journey. Although they were in the front rows of the throngs when Sean Hannity was interviewing Dick Armey and company, we could not see them. After the interview, I tried to communicate with our Prez through her handy-dandy iPhone. I could not hear her and she said she'd call back. A few seconds later, my phone rang and I could hear her and her right-hand in D.C., Marcia, talking to Dick Armey. Apparently she didn't realize that somehow a button was pushed and I was listening in on the conversation (they were discussing town hall meetings)!

So, our Prez is busy schmoozing with movers and shakers and pressing palms with the big voices of the day!! Let's hope she doesn't forget us, her faithful followers, when she and Glenn Beck are hosting the Beck and Prez Hour!!

BREAKING NEWS!!

(Theme song for post: When the Saints Go Marching In)



GGNN (GASP Grapevine News Network) is circling the drain!

If we don't get the Prez some better equipment, we may have to shut this thing down before we get our shot at a ratings race with FOX! Bless her heart, she tried. Take at look at this video just in today:

What she was trying to do was interview a couple from Minnesota she met while in Washington, D.C., for the big march on Saturday. Alas, the Mattel microphone and the distant iPhone did not do the job. Maybe while in the area she should seek some professional help from Carl Cameron or Major Garrett!!

This is your Media Czarina/SOS/Blog Manager/Editor/Grunt trying to keep you informed - but, hey, look what I have to work with!

SAINTS MARCHING IN!

(Theme song for post: When the Saints Go Marching In)

If the great and mighty, all-knowing BO thinks he is the messiah, then by golly, we will call ourselves saints! Our group is ready to rumble. We are all leaving for D.C. tomorrow.

Somehow the GASP Grapevine News Network (GGNN) was overlooked when this administration handed out the stimulus money. El zippo is the amount we got. Because we refuse to....gasp....borrow money to operate beyond our means, we will be on a shoe-string budget while in Washington.

No money means that I will act as producer, director and reporter and will depend on one of the czarinas or czars to be the camera man. Well, I don’t know if I should really say “camera man” because our only piece of broadcasting equipment will be my iPhone. If all goes well, and barring any technical glitches, you may receive D.C. video updates via email from our Media Czarina/Secretary of State/Blog Manager/Editor/Grunt. Can’t promise for sure, but we will try our best.

Don’t forget to watch FOX News on Saturday between 1:00 and 3:00 where the march will be covered live. I will be on the lookout for any evidence of media coverage other than FOX and GGNN. Any bets on me seeing other network trucks at the scene? And, if they do show up, they will not accurately report the saints descending en masse on Washington D.C.

WE HAVE HAD IT!

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

The Prez

THE GRAPEVINE - PART II

(Theme song for post: I Heard it Through the Grapevine)

(Your Prez is Back!)

Soon, the grapevine is going to be our only means of communication. Did you hear THIS through the grapevine.....’cause you sure aren’t gonna hear it in the mainstream media. ABC is refusing to air nationally an ad critical of BO’s health care reform plan. EXCUUUUSE ME, but.....gasp....didn’t ABC broadcast a prime-time special from the White House, featuring the messiah himself, pushing his plan? ABC says their policy is not to SELL advertising that presents a partisan position on a controversial issue. Okie-dokie, now. They can present one side only in a prime-time special but can’t sell an ad that presents a different view? WHY NOT? I’m beginning to think ABC stands for “Advancing Barack’s Causes.”

NBC said it will consider running the ad “with some revisions.” EXCUUUUSE ME, but.....gasp.....isn’t that called censorship? They are demanding to make revisions in the ad? I have seen a couple anti-Obama health care ads reviewed by the pollster, Frank Luntz. They were factual and very effective ads.....one ad polled favorable with 89% of Republicans and 53% of Dems. and a very high percentage of independents. Oooooops! That’s the problem!

Oh, by the way, Glenn Beck put an NBC shopping bag on his desk the other day–beautiful peacock logo on the bag. He pulled out Obama items you can buy at the NBC gift shop. Yep, you can buy an Obama doll, a coffee mug with a mug shot of BO on the side and a t-shirt that says, “Yes We Did.” WHY? What does Obama have to do with NBC? Oh, yes. There’s that little fact that Jeffrey Immelt, CEO of General Electric (owner of NBC), is a member of BO’s Economic Advisory Board. He had input with the stimulus bill and the health care reform plan and is a board member of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York helping to decide who gets lots of money. If cap and trade laws pass, GE stands to make billions from the sale of their products to other companies who will have to comply with the laws. Ditto if the health care plan is passed. Immelt might as well be sleeping in the Lincoln Bedroom. (Go here to check all 29 Obama tchotchkes sold at NBC.)

The Blog Manager/Editor/SOS/Grunt/Media Czarina reported last week that I’d gone wobbly again. Although not fully recovered, I am out of the fetal position but still sucking my thumb and dragging around my blankie. At night I’m afraid to close my eyes because I have nightmares about the boogie man.....not sure he is imaginary. Just when you thought you’d heard it all, there’s this: Did you know there is a U.S. Senate bill that proposes to give the president emergency control of the internet? (Go here to read more.)

The boogie man may very well be real. Sleep well tonight, my friends, and sweet dreams.

THE PREZ

THE GRAPEVINE - PART I

Have YOU heard?

OK - I did it again. It's me, the SOS/BlogManager/Editor/Grunt/Media Czarina. I hijacked the blog. It's probably OK, though. The Prez has resumed the fetal position - watching Glenn Beck the last several days has put her over the edge again. Seriously, are people paying attention to the great "connect the people" game Beck is playing? But I digress - as I've been reading the paper lately and been doing my research, I've noticed something. There's a lot going on that's not getting a lot of press OR there are things going on that are getting press for the wrong reasons. So, pardon the length, but here we go:





Unemployment – July 2009 – 9.7% Didn’t Obama say that if the stimulus bill was passed that they could hold unemployment to 8%, but if it didn’t pass it would rise to 9%? That’s what I thought…

Cash for clunkers – They are touting the program as hugely successful. Let’s see, a program put in place that originally was supposed to have lasted until November 1st. But, wait, more people took advantage of it than they thought and there isn’t enough money to keep the program going. Now, the dealers are hoping and praying they’ll get their money from the Government. Oh, and the big benefactors of the program? Why the Japanese automakers – Toyota, Honda and Nissan accounted for 41 percent of the new vehicle sales! Here’s the top ten list of vehicles purchased:
1. Toyota Corolla
2. Honda Civic
3. Toyota Camry
4. Ford Focus FWD
5. Hyundai Elantra
6. Nissan Versa
7. Toyota Prius
8. Honda Accord
9. Honda Fit
10. Ford Escape FWD

Eric Holder investigating Bush, et al, with regard to interrogation technique – Can you say smoke screen? Too much bad Obama stuff goin’ down – need to start playing the broken Bush record again!



Health Care – Joke. Need I say more? Oh, OK, one more thing. Can you imagine the Government running all of your health care programs? Could it go something like what happened at the Veterans Affairs Department where mass letters were sent out to vets about disability claims indicating they had Lou Gehrig’s disease and one woman put herself through a battery of painful, expensive tests only to be told 5 days later by the VA its “diagnosis was a mistake?”



Afghanistan – More troops going in. Where’s Cindy Sheehan and her faithful Democratic followers? OK, I’ll give you that she’s ticked at Obama – but at least she’s consistent!! Where’s the rest of the loudmouths (read as Democratic radicals) who encouraged, supported and held her in high regard when she was camped outside a Crawford, Texas, ranch? No body is saying diddley squat about it, are they?


Gitmo – heard about that lately? It’s still open last time I looked. Wasn’t that getting shut down immediately?


Homeowners Assistance – Remember the big, prime-time show where Obama called out the 1-800 number so homeowners could find help with their mortgates? Yeah, that was REALLY helpful to lawyers, mortgage companies, etc. out to scam a buck. Many reported unsolicited calls after calling the “Obama Help Me” line that said help was on the way, just send in $1,200 for us to begin the process! There is an actual case in Arizona of a man who went through all the redtape only to be told in the end his payment was being raised! No kidding, check out the Arizona Republic on August 26, 2009.



Stimulus money? Hmmm…let’s see how THAT’s working:
"The Social Security Administration mistakenly sent stimulus checks worth a total of $425,000 to 1,700 prison inmates. Official records “did not accurately reflect that they were in prison,” an SSA spokesman told Fox News. Inmates typically aren’t eligible for Social Security benefits, but, in a twist, some of the inmates—those who weren’t incarcerated between November 2008 and January 2009—did in fact get the $250 checks “fair and square,” according to Fox News."


Or how about a checkpoint in Laredo, TX, that gets more than 55,000 travelers a day that was passed over for stimulus money, while a checkpoint in Westhope, ND, that sees just 73 people a day is getting almost $15 million for renovations? Nope, no politics in the stimulus bill, is there?





OK, I'm done. It's just that you never see this crap headlined. With the exception of the flights back to Mexico (because that's SOOOOO humanitarian) and Eric Holder (for obvious reasons), none of this has been big, bold, headline stuff. It's all tucked away in small snippets, hoping it doesn't get notice!! Sorry about circumventing the Prez - but I had to get that off my chest. She'll come around in a day or so and then I'll get the what for!!

SHOOT'N OFF MY MOUTH

Texas Monthly magazine published an interview with Ted Nugent and put him on the cover of the July issue. (Go here for a video of a small portion of that interview.) They asked their readers to “fill in the blanks,” expressing their thoughts about that interview in an easy-to-use template letter to the editor. They knew there would be strong feelings both ways.

I hurriedly mailed back my filled-in letter and forgot about it. Two weeks ago a fact checker from the magazine called to tell me they had.....gasp.....chosen my letter to be included in a montage of responses. If I had known they were going to copy the actual form and not reprint it, I would have been neater! The September issue came in the mail yesterday. This is the letter, with my words capped and underlined, that appeared in the magazine:

Dear Editor,

I am a(an) 62 YR. OLD, NON-HUNTER, CONSERVATIVE FEMALE (political affiliation) who has been subscribing to Texas Monthly for 22 (number) years, and I am writing to express my GIDDY ELATION (emotional state) at this month’s issue. Ted Nugent is a(an) CONTRADICTION IN CULTURAL GENRES (noun). He has done more to SUPPORT (verb) the SECOND AMENDMENT (noun) than anyone since DAVY CROCKETT (historical figure). By putting him on your cover, you have reached a new LEVEL OF COURAGE I DIDN’T THINK POSSIBLE (relative altitude). I think that you should ALTERNATE TED AND KINKY AS GUEST CONTRIBUTORS. Please RENEW IN PERPETUITY (verb) my subscription.

(Side note: Kinky Friedman is a frequent guest writer for the magazine. I didn’t write the note on my letter that says he needs a haircut and a shave!)

Your Prez does not know how to fire a gun or has any desire to do so, but I will shoot off my mouth to do everything I can to preserve the right of those who want to own guns, to hunt and to protect themselves and their families. Banning guns will NOT get the guns out of the hands of the criminals, it will only make law abiding citizens more vulnerable. It is our right to bear arms...... and not the kind Michelle flaunts.

In a peaceful revolution, the only weapons we have are our voices and the voting booth. Keep firing until we shoot down BO’s socialist health care plan. When we win that fight you are going to have to reload and take aim in a new battle.....the assault on the Second Amendment. There are many fronts in this war.

The Prez

THIS LAND IS YOUR LAND

(Theme song for post: This Land is Your Land and Battle Hymn of the Republic)

..........this land is my land. Let’s fight to preserve for our children and grandchildren the America we know and love. Do what you can to make your voice heard. Email, phone and snail mail members of Congress and the Senate. There are still some townhall meetings taking place later this month (unless some of the yellowbellies are too chicken to hold them). Here’s the link to check out your state.


If you are free September 10-13, please join your Prez and thousands from across the nation for the 9.12.09 March on DC. As of this date, GASP will be represented in Washington by seven members from three states. We are staying at the Marriott Metro Center which has special rates for those attending the event. More information can be found HERE.

Our group ranges in age from 40-67. We are your typical right-wing terrorist, fake anger, mob types. The two men are both former Air Force officers: one is now a Delta pilot and the other is a retired American Airlines pilot. One of the women is a retired small business owner and grandmother, two are housewives and grandmothers and two are Gen Xers.

One thing we have in common is that we have never done anything like this before. Believe me, no special interest group or political party is paying our way to Washington. We are going because we are fed up with the our representation (or lack there of) in DC and we are “taking it to the street.” Don’t they get it up there? This is a real protest by average, Joe the Plumber Americans.

If you show up in Washington, look for your Prez, sans her Brooks Brothers suit. This T-shirt will be my rally attire. I’ll be the one wearing this nameplate on a chain around my neck so fellow mob members can find me. I will have the Blog Manager/Editor/Secretary of State/Grunt on speed dial in case we....gasp....get hauled off to jail. She may be contacting you for bail money for the seven of us.

Do you remember the revised version of the “Battle Hymn of the Republic” that I wrote for the 4th of July? I believe it should be the official marching song for this rally.......especially the last verse. What do you think?


OUR NEW BATTLE CRY

MINE EYES HAVE SEEN THE FOLLY OF THE ONE WHO THINKS HE’S LORD,
HE IS TRAMPLING OUT THE COFFERS WHERE OUR WEALTH AND PRIDE ARE STORED.
HE HATH LOOSED THE FATEFUL LIGHTNING OF HIS SMOOTH DECEITFUL TONGUE.
HIS SCHEME IS MARCHING ON.

SADLY, SADLY WE ARE CHANGING,
SADLY, SADLY WE ARE CHANGING,
SADLY, SADLY WE ARE CHANGING,
HIS SCHEME IS MARCHING ON.

I HAVE SEEN HIM IN THE GAZES OF THOSE LARGE ADORING THRONGS.
THEY HAVE BUILDED HIM AN ALTAR WHERE HE CARRIES OUT HIS WRONGS.
I HAVE SEEN HIS POMPOUS ACTIONS CONTRADICT HIS SPOKEN WORD.
HIS GREED IS MARCHING ON.

CHORUS

WE ARE SOUNDING FORTH THE TRUMPET THAT WE NEVER SHALL RETREAT.
WE WILL GATHER UP IN MASSES AND WILL MARCH FOR HIS DEFEAT.
BE STRONG OUR SOULS TO PERSEVERE, TO TAKE IT TO THE STREET.
OUR WILL IS MARCHING ON.


Please join us in Washington D.C. for the march on September 12.

The Prez

BLUE MOON

(Theme song for this post: I'm Sorry and Blue Moon)

Oh, the powers of our beloved BO. What a savior. Worldwide, national, state, local, personal.....makes no difference. This man can have a profound effect on each and every one of us and solve all our problems.

My darling husband was so moved by the Beer Summit at the White House today that, in support of Sgt. Crowley, he brought home Blue Moon beer for our happy hour tonight. Seriously - that's our beer sitting on our counter!!

We spent a blissful hour at the round table on our back porch sipping beer and apologizing to each other. All is well in our house.....gasp..... thanks to BO.

The Prez

CZARINA, CZARINA

(Theme song for this post: Corrine, Corrina and Shake, Rattle and Roll)

Czarina, Czarina, GASP is where you belong

Czarina, Czarina, GASP is where you belong
We’ll tell the sheeple where they done gone wrong.

Czarina, Czarina,
Czarina, Czarina,
Czarina, Czarina,
I need you so!

I need Czarinas, tell the world I do
I need Czarinas, tell the world I do
All of us together, clean up that D.C. zoo!




And, now, I take great pride in introducing our very own GASP Czarinas!










CZARINA CZARINA - CYNTHIA, ODESSA, TX


Cynthia started this. She is the one who suggested we have Czars instead of Vice Prezidents. She will make sure that we are in step with the times.




METHANE CZARINA - LORI, HOUSTON, TX
Lori’s application came with a glowing recommendation from her gastrointerologist. At our meetings we can either make her stay out in the hall or we can all don gas masks.

TREASURY CZARINA - SHIRLEY, RENO, NV
We will print our own GASP currency when inflation hits. Shirley is making appointments for me to sit for several photographers. Guess whose image in going to be on the new trillion dollar bill? (Here's the prototype!)

COVERT OPERATIONS CZARINA - ????
Duh, it is Covert Operations. I can’t tell you anything!

ALTERNATIVE ENERGY CZARINA - KENDRA, HOUSTON, TX
Kendra is going to harness energy through electric eels. She writes, “...what’s a little extra slime? If that fails we could try fireflies. What’s a more hopeful symbol than fireflies? It would bring a tear to the eye of the Arsonist in Chief”.

GRAFT CZARINA -
MARCIA, MONROE CITY, MO
Marcia will make sure The Prez is supplied regularly with largess. She has already sent a gift, as only two other GASP members have to date. The rest of you can expect some very forceful Rahm Emanuel arm twisting. I like jewelry.

MEDIA/PRESS CZARINA -
LAURA, PHOENIX, AZ
Our Blog Manager/Editor/Secretary of State/Grunt wrote, “It would be a hoot to go up against ole’ Gibbs. I think I could match him sarcasm for sarcasm.” I have no doubt that she could!

HEALTH CARE CZARINA -
ANN, COLLEYVILLE, TX
Ann is an R.N. and will be able to implement my McBucks health care plan perfectly. We will put a clinic in every McDonald’s and Starbucks across the country.....that pretty much means every block. We will round up all illegals and fast-track them through medical school and English classes. They will man the clinics and be paid minimum wage (since the libs think minimum wage is not an entry-level, temporary wage and should be high enough to support a family, this amount is what they will earn). We will double the prices in McDonald’s and Starbucks to subsidize the clinics. VOILA! Free health care for those that want it. You will be able to keep your current health care provider if you choose.

FASHIONISTA CZARINA -
PAT, WATAUGA, TX
This kills Pat because she is an absolute fashion plate....you should see her! She sadly decrees that everyone wear brown shirts, no sleeveless, please (and that includes you, Michelle). Her job is pretty much done so she won’t have to leave us and go to Washington.

DWTS CZARINA -
VIRGINIA, COCOA BEACH, FL
We are losing our right to choose in many areas of our lives. Why should Dancing With the Stars be any different? Virginia will tell us who to vote for every week. Ditto for American Idol.






Oh, heck, why not! I think I will leak it. The Covert Operations Czarina? That would be....gasp.... VALERIE PLAME, GEORGETOWN, WASHINGTON D.C. She’s launched an underground campaign to keep our Blog Manager/Editor/Secretary of State/Grunt from abandoning our GASP operation and shutting it down. While she is doing that she’s also looking for signs of yellowcake production.....but, you didn’t hear this from me!

So, there, you have it. Our first ten Czarinas. At our next meeting we will don our brown shirts, line up and rehearse our “Czarina, Czarina” routine. How soon can we take this show on the road?

THE PREZ

P.S. We will need more than one song in our repertoire, so before our next meeting please learn the words to "Shake, Rattle and Roll."

THE ARSONIST IN CHIEF

(Theme song for this post: The Fireman)

JUST WEEKS AGO THE ARSONIST IN CHIEF WAS HEARD SCHEMING HIS PLAN. I AM LETTING YOU IN ON PILLOW TALK CONVERSATION THAT BO HAD WITH MICHELLE ONE NIGHT. THE GHOST OF.....gasp....ELEANOR ROOSEVELT CONVEYED THIS TO ME ONLY DAYS AGO. (YES, SHE'S GIVEN UP ON HILLARY AND IS NOW CHANNELING THROUGH ME.) HERE IS WHAT BO SAID:

“I’ll start a CAP AND TRADE fire over here. I’ll get that fire roaring and then.......

While they are trying to put that fire out, I’ll go over here and start a SUPREME COURT NOMINATION fire. I’ll fan that briefly to make sure it’s going to take off and, hmmm, let’s see......

I’ll go over there and light a HEALTH CARE REFORM fire. I’m going to make this one pretty big. YES, that’s what I like to see.....they are scrambling. They can’t fight these fires all at once. I think I’ll start ANOTHER small STIMULUS fire in that corner. They will be running in circles.”

This guy is so good. How can our elected officials be remotely aware of all the details in these complicated issues? How can we put out all these fires at once?

My fear is that our nation is burning to the ground while the Arsonist in Chief brilliantly executes the teachings of Saul Alinsky’s “Rules for Radicals.” The capitalist forests are burning, singeing much of the Constitution, and when the smoke clears we will find little green shoots of socialism sprouting in their place. What will we do then?

FIRE ALARM....FIRE ALARM....FIRE ALARM...
...FIRE ALARM......FIRE ALARM...FIRE ALARM

PLEASE CALL AND EMAIL YOUR SENATORS AND CONGRESSMEN AND TELL THEM TO VOTE NO TO ALL OF THE ABOVE. LET’S TRY TO PUT OUT THESE FIRES!

THE PREZ


(There was something in the paper yesterday that grabbed my attention. It was about a civilian doctor, Dr.Steven Wolf, who has taken over the burn unit at Brooke Army Hospital. Brooke used to be one of the top burn centers in the world. In 2002 is lost it's verification, alarming the Defense Dept. Because the government could not pay a top burn surgeon enough to take the job as director, it created a joint position with UT medical school and Dr. Wolf is quoted as saying, "the burn unit had become too much of a government institution, too scheduled, too regulation oriented and too inflexible." That is what we can expect from government-run health care. Click here for the link to the article)

Editor's note on 7/22/09: For those who may have heard the Rush Limbaugh program yesterday, rest assured that our Prez was the FIRST to describe BO as an arsonist! It's eerie how our beloved Prez has her finger on the pulse of the conservative think tank!

CZARINA

(Theme for this post: Kalinka)

It’s 12:30 PM, July 11, 2009, and I call this meeting to order. Too bad if you can’t attend. I’m The Prez, I say the meeting is now. We have urgent business to tend to and I can’t wait until we can round up everyone. Give me a break..........at least I didn’t do this at 3:00 AM........I’m conducting business in the daylight, which is a step above our legislators in Washington.

NEW BUSINESS: Cynthia from Odessa, Texas, brought it to my attention that maybe all members’ titles should be changed from Vice Prezident to Czar. Why didn’t I think of that? Vice Prezident is so passe these days. So, from now on every member is my Czarina and the guys are my Czars. Please email me with the area you would like to be in charge of.....first come, first served, so hurry and pick your area of expertise. The Health Czarina has been taken by Anne of Colleyville, Texas. Cynthia is the Czarina for Keeping Things Up-to-Date. I’ll have an update on all our Czarinas/Czars in a future post. (Gasp.....I just can’t seem to stop doing this blog. How many times have I quit?)

I would request that one of you volunteer to leave GASP and become the 500th Czarina in BO’s administration. They are in dire need of a Fashionista Czarina. Would somebody please tell Malia Obama not to wear the peace symbol, CND (Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament) T-shirts while touring Europe. Yes, she has more than one. She was photographed in two different T-shirts. Ask Michelle how she had the “audacity” to carry a $6,000 handbag on her jaunt with BO in the Russian woods. Times are tough, honey, you might not want to flaunt your designer bag in our unemployed faces! Oh, and one more thing.....enough already with the bare arms. Do you OWN an outfit with sleeves?

If we have to be commies, I’ve decided we’ll be commies with a Tejano flair. Check out the second song. (I'm crossing my fingers that the lyrics are not offensive....who knows what the guy is singing!) ‘Til next time my comrades!

Meeting Adjourned!

THE PREZ

P.S. The reason that Cynthia and Ann already have their titles is that the three of us are members of the Texas group of Smart Girl Politics. Cynthia discovered our blog on that site and contacted me through SGP. I've made her a member of GASP without even asking her. If you would like to become members of a great organization, check out Smart Girl Politics. You can find your state's group and join that, too, if you want.

CHAIN OF FOOLS

(Theme for this post: Chain of Fools, Send in the Clowns)


Add one more fool to the mix today as Al Franken is sworn in as a United States Senator. Not only do we have Bama, Pelosi and Reid, "The Three Stooges,"...........now Al Franken can pal up with Barney Frank and we'll call them "Frick and Frack."

THE INMATES ARE RUNNING THE ASYLUM!!

Today is the circus of a memorial for Michael Jackson in L.A. The media went crazy when he died and the next day hardly any mention was made when the House passed that obscene energy bill. The biggest tax hike in our nation's history was ignored for non-stop coverage of a pop star's death.

Isn't it ironic that the Ringling Bros. Circus is waiting outside the Staples Center to move in right after the Jackson memorial? Yep, today seems like the perfect day to hang it up here at GASP. The world is topsey-turvey and everything is becoming a circus.

When I die, keep it simple. This is all I want as my epitaph: "Gasp...She's Gone!"

THE PREZ

BATTLE FOR OUR REPUBLIC

In 1861 Julia Ward Howe was asked to write new lyrics for the Civil War marching song, “John Brown’s Body.” The words came to her that very night and she got up in the early dawn from her bed in the Willard Hotel in Washington D.C. to pen the words to “The Battle Hymn of the Republic.” Almost 150 years later I have written new lyrics to fit our time. We are at war once again to save our republic. This time it is not the North versus the South. This time it is the people versus a tyrannical government.

This Independence Day I will not be in a light and festive mood. Our constitution is being ripped to shreds and our voices are being ignored, if not stifled. My heart is aching for our battered nation.

OUR NEW BATTLE CRY

MINE EYES HAVE SEEN THE FOLLY OF THE ONE WHO THINKS HE’S LORD,

HE IS TRAMPLING OUT THE COFFERS WHERE OUR WEALTH AND PRIDE ARE STORED.

HE HATH LOOSED THE FATEFUL LIGHTNING OF HIS SMOOTH DECEITFUL TONGUE.

HIS SCHEME IS MARCHING ON.

SADLY, SADLY WE ARE CHANGING,

SADLY, SADLY WE ARE CHANGING,

SADLY, SADLY WE ARE CHANGING

HIS PLANS ARE MARCHING ON.

I HAVE SEEN HIM IN THE GAZES OF THOSE LARGE ADORING THRONGS.

THEY HAVE BUILDED HIM AN ALTAR WHERE HE CARRIES OUT HIS WRONGS.

I HAVE SEEN HIS POMPOUS ACTIONS CONTRADICT HIS SPOKEN WORD.

HIS GREED IS MARCHING ON.

CHORUS

WE ARE SOUNDING FORTH THE TRUMPET THAT WE NEVER SHALL RETREAT.

WE WILL GATHER UP IN MASSES AND WILL MARCH FOR HIS DEFEAT.

BE STRONG OUR SOULS TO PERSEVERE, TO TAKE IT TO THE STREET.

OUR WILL IS MARCHING ON.

CHORUS

IN THE BEAUTY OF THE LILIES CHRIST WAS BORN ACROSS THE SEA.

WITH THE GLORY IN HIS BOSOM HE TRANSFIGURED YOU AND ME.

AS HE DIED TO MAKE MEN HOLY, LET US LIVE TO MAKE MEN FREE.

WHILE GOD IS MARCHING ON.

GLORY, GLORY, HALLELUJAH!

GLORY, GLORY, HALLELUJAH!

GLORY, GLORY, HALLELUJAH!

OUR GOD IS MARCHING ON.

I kept Howe’s fifth verse and used it as my last. There will never be a need to change that.

PROUD TO BE YOUR PREZ

(Our Secretary of State/Editor/Blog Manager/Grunt will be on..gasp..vacation until the latter part of July. She’s the one that does the fancy stuff. Sorry, I’m forced to take a break until her return. Be safe over the holiday.)

SLOW DOWN!!

(Theme song for post: I'm In a Hurry)

HE'S BUSY AS A BEE! WHEN DOES THIS OBAMA GUY SLEEP?

“HURRY,” he said, “the sky will fall if we don’t pass the stimulus bill. Don’t give them time to read it, pass it tonight. I’m flying to Chi Town with Michelle for a weekend getaway and I’ll fly someplace next Tuesday to sign it.”

“HURRY,” he said, “I’ll create a czar for this and a czar for that and they won’t have to answer to anybody but me.”

“HURRY,” he said, “we have to bail out the car company. We’ll throw billions at them so they won’t go bankrupt. Uh, oh, that didn’t work? Well, HURRY, let’s take control of this car company and make the union a partner.”

“HURRY,” he said, “get the Sotomayor confirmation hearings going ASAP before any opposition has a snow ball’s chance in hell of growing while rolling down the hill.....literally.”

“HURRY,” he said, “I’ve angered my gay and lesbian subjects by defending the Defense of Marriage Act. HURRY, I’ll throw them a bone and give healthcare and other benefits to same-sex partners of federal employees. I don’t have to go through congress to do that. Yeah, that’s the ticket. I’ll sign that tonight.”

“HURRY,” he said, “Today I’ll announce the creation of a Consumer Financial Product Safety oversight Commission and take away oversight from the Federal Reserve and other bank regulators. I’ll make that official tomorrow.”

“HURRY,” he said, “let’s shove national health care down America’s throat. My buds at ABC are going to aid and abet by moving into the White House one evening to air my infommercial. I’m letting Charlie use the Blue Room to broadcast the news before we move to the East Room for the primetime special, "Prescription for America," which the people have no clue is another dose ofthe Kool-Aid. (Click here to email your displeasure to ABC at: http://abcnews.go.com/Site/page?id=3271346.


BO knows exactly why he’s in a hurry. His promise was CHANGE. He has to hurry to change everything and destroy capitalism before the expiration date on the Kool-Aid comes to pass.

My head is spinning with all he has thrown at me. I can’t quite sort it all out in my mind. Do you, like me, feel like you’re on a carnival ride going round and round and round with the certain knowledge that when it stops you will get off and be violently ill?

THE PREZ

(Gasping for breath!)

YOU TALK TOO MUCH

(Theme song for post: You Talk Too Much)

Hey, Letterman........ZIP IT!

I haven’t watched you in years. I used to think you were pretty funny. In recent years you have become a nasty, cranky, bitter old man. On the news yesterday I saw a clip of you getting bent out of shape recently when Julia Roberts asked you personal questions on the air about your wife. Nobody can even ASK about a family member of yours and you think you can get away with a heinous joke about Sarah Palin’s 14 year old daughter? What makes your wife off limits and Palin’s daughter an acceptable target? Tell me, Dave, what makes it OK.

Some of my friends are writing to CBS expressing their disgust. One friend says to write to your sponsors. Without doing a lot of research I’ve come up with one definite sponsor and a list of sponsors who run ads as lead-ins to video clips of the Late Show website. I’m on a campaign to have as many people as possible email those companies voicing their displeasure with you.

Les Munves, CEO, CBS: http://www.cbs.com/info/user_services/fb_global_form.php
(If that doesn't work, go to cbs.com and at the very bottom click on "user feedback.")

Paul Michaels, President, Mars Candy: http://www.mars.com/

Other sponsors on the website:Aveeno (owned by Johnson & Johnson), Canon, Charmin and Downy (owned by Proctor & Gamble), Citibank, Hellman’s, Lexus (owned by Toyota), Nissan and Rogaine.

I have several very wonderful flight attendant friends and they should be calling for your head on a platter for saying that Palin looked like a “slutty flight attendant.” (Psssst....Flight Attendants’ Union, where are you when we need you?) If you had said “nappy headed flight attendant” we’d have Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton asking that you be fired. I want all my flight attendant friends to be prepared if you ever sit your sorry butt down in a first class seat on a plane. I would suggest that they..gasp..dump a pot of hot coffee in your lap. Taking action has to start somewhere!

THE PREZ

I'M IN OZ!!

(Theme song for post: Medley of Wizard of Oz songs)

I would have posted sooner but I just regained consciousness. Friday night I was watching FOX news and by the end of the broadcast I was being lifted off my feet and spun into the air by a twister. Below are the elements that came together during the show to cause the perfect storm:

WHAT??!! The voters of California voted 52% against gay marriage but on May 26 the CA Supreme Court may overturn the voters’ decision. Okey-dokey, now. Let’s see if I’ve got this right. Liberal judges can trump a legit election.

EXCUSE ME?? In her holier-than-thou voice, with her lips stretched tightly over her capped teeth, Nancy Pelosi dismissed the press as if they were annoying gnats, declaring, “I am not answering any questions on that subject.” I guess the press and the Republicans are going to let her get away with her damnable lies. (The Wicked Witch is here in Oz....I can’t get away from her!)

YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING!! Henry Waxman and the Dems hired a speed reader to read the massive 946 page climate bill in case the Republicans “force the issue” by demanding that the bill be read. Yeah, it’s 946 pages as well as several hundred pages of amendments being forced down our throats. A speed reader? They are making a mockery out of the legislative system and it’s a slap in the face to “We, the People.’ The Republicans could take that clip of the speed reader and beat the Democrats over the head with it in the 2010 elections. Will it happen?

WHAT CHUTZPAH! The White House is shutting out the press by allowing media coverage at events for only a few minutes, if at all. The White House is airing their own coverage of events on Youtube. Yep, they can edit those pieces to let you see and hear only what they want you to see and hear.

GASP! Ex-con, ex-teacher Mary Kay Letourneau and her boy-toy husband, Vili Fualaau are hosting “Hot for Teachers Night” at a Seattle nightclub. He’s the DJ and she’s the hostess. How disgusting!

Sadly, all the above was in ONE NEWS BROADCAST! Beam me up, Scottie, I don’t want to go home. You’ll find me in Oz.

DOROTHY THE PREZ

GOVERNMENT MOTORS

(Theme song for post: Little GTO)

Government Motors CEO, Barack Obama, has decreed that by 2016 all cars and light trucks will be powered by rubber bands. Left turns will be forbidden and car color choices will be limited to black, coal black and midnight black.

Say bye-bye to your favorite sports car.











Here's the car we'll all be driving in the future.




And....gasp......factoring in inflation, this little beauty will cost you only $50,000.







If I have to drive that, then this should be his new presidential limousine!






The Prez

THE SECOND AMENDMENT - PART I

(Theme song for post: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly)

The day after BO was elected last year one of our Florida members and her husband joined the NRA. This is a picture of her NRA sticker placed over a “W” campaign sticker from 2004. Neither Virginia or her husband own a gun but they felt it was necessary to join forces with a group that will fight to protect our right to bear arms.

Another member, Marcia from Missouri, joined the NRA and has just completed a conceal carry course. Watch this video and then tell me Marcia should not be allowed to carry a handgun in her purse if she chooses. Dr. Suzanna Gratia-Hupp tells U.S. Senators what it was like in Luby’s Cafeteria that day in Texas in 1991 when a madman began shooting at people like fish in a barrel and took the lives of 24. Go HERE to hear her testimony.


One night about two months ago our house security alarm startled us out of a deep slumber at 3 AM. I was petrified. My NRA member husband (who has a conceal carry license) got out of bed, got his gun and went from room to room in our house. He encountered no one but there’s no doubt in my mind he would have killed an intruder if there had been one. Take a look at this video telling what happened to a man in the U.K. who had a gun in his home and used it to protect himself and his property. I do not want this to happen to one single person in this country trying to protect their family. The British have something to say to Americans. We better wake up, listen and take action. Take a few minutes and go HERE for the message!


HR45 Blair Holt’s Firearm Licensing and Record of Sale Act is in committee in the House right now. To own a gun it would require you to have a Federal license with other strings attached. If you had children under 18 the government could...gasp...enter your home to check to make sure your guns are stored properly. That’s giving way too much power to the Federal government. My question would be this. WHO IS GOING TO MAKE THE BAD GUYS COMPLY WITH THE LAW?

The Prez

GASPING FOR BREATH

(Theme song for post: Every Breath You Take)

This is your Prez back in action, for now at least. Thank goodness for the second in command who stepped in when I went wobbly in the knees and hid under the covers. BO should be so lucky! Look who he’s got as his #2.........Joe Trigger Tongue Biden who tells the nation he wouldn’t let anybody in his family travel for fear of getting the “Piggy Wiggy Flu.” (Caution: Pause the music before clicking on the link.)

I just received an email from a member in Colorado. She’s as frustrated as I am. Are you all in this state of mind? Here’s her email:

.....I’m loving your GASP postings! Makes me want to start riots!!!!!!!! Our situation is dire in this country and no one is listening. With the media on ‘their side’ we are out numbered and out blitzed...........We were at a dinner party last Sunday with retired doctors and nurses from our local area. All were conservative. The overall consensus was that there’s not much anyone can do. When I said I was about ready to start calling TV and radio stations when I disagreed with their analysis, they said they knew of two doctors who complained who were dogged by the IRS for years. WHAT?

I’m talking to the ladies I walk with, trying to get their ire up as much as mine. We think if there are enough of us calling and emailing it won’t hurt. How frustrating! Doesn’t anyone really get it? Do you have to be 60 something to catch on? Any ideas for more rebel rousing across the nation?

Gasping for Breath
Claudette C



I’m gasping for breath along with Claudette. What can we do?

I had been out from under the covers for barely 5 minutes when the news broke that Justice Souter was leaving the bench. I saw a vision of BO grinning from ear to ear prancing around the Oval Office shouting, "HERE COME DE JUDGE, HERE COME DE JUDGE." Too bad Flip Wilson is dead and BO can't appoint him to the court. He could have joined Nancy Wicked Witch of the House Pelosi, Barney the Drag Queen Frank, Tim Keebler Elf Geithner, and starring Don Corleone Obama in the remake of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest in Washington D.C."



HEY, BO

Every breath you take
Every smile you fake
Every move you make
Every vow you break
We'll be watching you.

O can't you see
How much we disagree
And our poor hearts ache with every step you take.

Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every time you stray
We'll be watching you.



THE PREZ

P.S. Gasp.....I think I just discovered the theme song for our group. We'll take a vote on it at the next meeting.

WHILE THE PREZ IS BUSY...

(Theme song for post: Mad, Mad World)

...frantically searching for the proper chair, I'm going rogue and entering a couple thoughts on Obama's speech:

"Even as we clear away the wreckage of this recession, I have also said that we cannot go back to an economy that is built on a pile of sand - on inflated home prices and maxed-out credit cards, on overleveraged banks and outdated regulations that allowed the recklessness of a few to threaten the prosperity of us all," said the President.



"ONE key pioneer of ACORN's subprime-loan shakedown racket was Madeline Talbott - an activist with extensive ties to Barack Obama. She was also in on the ground floor of the disastrous turn in Fannie Mae's mortgage policies." - New York Post September 29, 2008 - so WHO'S been reckless???


The president opened by promising Americans that his government was doing "everything we can" to counter the spread of swine flu, which the World Health Organization classified Wednesday as a category 5 emergency, the second-highest level.



OK - "his" government?



He ruled out, for now, closing the southern U.S. border with Mexico, where the outbreak originated. He likened such measures to "closing the barn door after the horses are out, because we already have cases here in the United States."



Wait a minute - I thought just a paragraph or two before you said you were "doing everything we can" to counter the spread?



Until the picture becomes clearer, Obama said, his best advice was what doctors had been telling Americans for days: Wash your hands regularly and stay home if you are sick.



I hear the angels singing - THERE'S the solution - just wash your hands and this nasty category 5 emergency is taken care of !!





Hmmmm...if washing your hands gets rid of all the nasty stuff, would washing O's mouth out with soap get rid of all the crap that spews from it?





OK, I'm done. Anyone heard from the Prez lately??

SOS/Editor/Grunt

GET A ROPE!

(Theme song for post: Mad, Mad World)

We have formed such a close bond over these last few months that the SOS and I know we can give you a glimpse into our personal lives. Do you feel the pain that we feel? I don't know about you but I'm about to cave. My head is getting bloody banging it against the increasingly hard liberal wall. Is there anybody left who really gives a flip about the future of this country?

These are the contents of actual emails that flew back and forth today between your Prez and your Secretary of State/Blog Manager/Editor/Grunt.

12:43 CDT - FROM THE PREZ TO THE SOS:

I was out running errands when I heard on the radio that Specter has changed parties. What the bleep is going on here??? Granted, he always acted like a Dem, but to change parties after all those years. I'm about ready to give up and take a vow to be blissfully ignorant of anything that's going on. Can you imagine if Bush's administration had that plane fly low over NY??? I'm resigning from GASP and becoming a recluse.

12:56 CDT - HER REPLY:

Funny you should say that. I told Dave this morning after the Specter thing that I give up - let the inmates run the nut house: Pass all the crap they want, dig the country deeper in debt, ban cars, gay up marriages, tax the hell out of us - maybe after all that somebody will get a large clue as to whom the real idiot is - OBAMA (aka known as the Front for Soros, Pelosi, Reid, and the Chicago Machine).

Gals, we've only endured the first 100 days of this nightmare. How can we make it through to the end? How? Never mind...I've found a rope...now I'm looking for a chair and someone to kick it out from under me.

THE PREZ

SINGERS, CELEBS & SYCOPHANTS

(Theme song for post: Pata Pata)

Miriam Makeba passed away last November. I hadn’t thought about her in years. Her “Click” song from the early ‘60's was a huge hit. How does she sing and make that click sound at the same time? What do Makeba and Obama have in common? Answer: Beautiful voices and a slick, smooth delivery but you can’t make sense out of a word they say! You will not be sorry if you order, “Miriam Makeba - Africa,” from www.amazon.com for only $6.99.....I listen to it constantly. (I know, I know.....at one time she was married to Stokley Carmichael but I forgive her...I have a friend who was BFF with Carmichael when they were teenagers...but, I digress.) For those members who have sucked up to me and sent your Prez gifts, you might want to hold off ordering. You may get a surprise in the mail. What can I say? Yes, your Prez has accepted gifts and now I’m returning favors. Is there anybody out there who can’t be bought? At our next meeting you will have the chance to vote me out of office...gasp...if you think I’m not worthy to continue leading our group.

Did you watch “Kennedy Center Honors” last December? We should give kudos to the selection committee. Ms. Barbra Streisand was an honoree in the last year of the Bush administration and had to go to the White House to make nice and kissy-kiss with George Bush. Don’t you know she was royally ticked off that she couldn’t be one of the first to be honored by her beloved BO? Psssst.....Babs....SOMEBODY RAINED ON YOUR PARADE!

Here’s a brilliant quote from Debra Messing, of “Will and Grace” fame, talking to reporters about BO: “...our new president is not only meeting my expectations, but going far beyond. He is thoughtful and considerate and he gets all the information before he speaks which I think is a wonderful quality for the ruler of the free world to have.” What a ditz!

Then we have the consummate idiot, Janine Garafalo, stating last week that the tea parties were all about racists who hate having a black man in the White House. She said we were confused and angry, called us teabagging rednecks whose limbic brain is larger than that in a reasonable person. Janine is another perfect candidate to be the Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz.......if she only HAD a brain!

Hey, Babs, Janine, Brad and Denzel. You do know that BO has capped certain exec salaries at $250,000, don’t you? I think your income should be limited to $250,000 a year, also. No more ripping off the public for concerts and no zillion dollar movie and TV deals. Obscene wealth is so yesterday!

The Prez