THAT'S AMORE?

(Theme song for post: That's Amore)

Last night I could not bring myself to watch Obama address the nation. I would rather have been doing prep work for a colonoscopy...which, cross my heart, was exactly what I WAS doing! Unfortunately, I wasn't so lucky several weeks ago when I was "forced" to watch the Obamessiah's first prime-time press conference.


I say “forced” because I DID NOT want to look at his self-righteous mug or listen to his forked-tongue answers but my husband got home for dinner just as the news conference started. He wanted to watch it. So, we ate, I griped, we ate, I groused, we ate, I complained, we ate, I threw my fork at the TV, we ate, I shook my head, we ate, I sighed. My dear sweet husband pushed the wrong button when he said, “Just calm down, don’t get so worked up, there’s nothing you can do about it.” Now, mind you, he didn’t say that in a “poor baby, I know you’re upset, try not to take it so seriously” voice. Oh, no! My very conservative, ex military fighter pilot husband almost scolded me in a drill sergeant bark. What I heard was, “get a grip soldier, shape up, be a man, suck it up and move on, now give me 50 pushups.”

Really ticked off, I picked up my plate and glass and went to the sink to clean up. I ran the water, turned the garbage disposal on and off and made as much noise as I could possibly make to drown out the TV. The drill sergeant quickly finished his dinner and went into the bedroom to change.....with an ulterior motive as I found out when I went back there.....gasp......he had turned on the TV in the bedroom to listen to the Messiah.

I stormed to the computer to get away from the evil one on TV and clicked onto the Drudge Report. As I scanned the headlines, I swear, my eyeballs boinged out of their sockets, hit the computer screen and ricocheted back in....the left eye is still giving me problems. Do you know what the headline said???? I am not lying! It said, “many women, not too surprisingly,are dreaming about having sex with the president.” If you doubt me, check out this link. Have mercy! I’d rather have an affair with Charles Manson than with that schmarmy, swaggering Chicago pol. I clicked onto the article but couldn’t bring myself to read the whole thing. Talk about PERFECT TIMING, tho! I could use this to get back at the drill sergeant. I printed it out, marched downstairs, slammed it down in front of my husband and said to him, “ Read this. You know, the more I see of Barack, I like to call him Barack, it’s such a sexy name, the more I’m beginning to like him. I think it will take just a few more weeks and he’s really going to turn me on.”

So here’s the deal gals. I’m going to conduct a poll over the next 4 weeks. You see, the next GASP post won’t be until sometime around April 1st (hmmm...) The most integral part of GASP, our Secretary of State/Blog Manager/Editor/Grunt, is going to be on vacation. (Just how many titles does one person need?) She’s the one who does the fancy stuff. All I do is type. And, did you know this? If she thinks it’s pertinent and timely, she’ll post without......gasp.....asking me! Well, after being on the job for only three months, she’s demanding a 4-week vacation. She’s going to be in Utah visiting a son and daughter-in-law and in Idaho visiting another son and daughter-in-law and 2 grandchildren. Sorry, I can’t stop her.

Here is my scientific, one-question poll. Do not answer immediately. Keep this and answer the question at the end of March. We want to ascertain rational brain function over a lengthy period of time. Those of you who fail will be purged from this organization.

QUESTION

Have you gotten the tingle up your leg, not been able to resist it, crawled over broken glass to Washington D.C. and thrown your unmentionables over the beautiful black wrought iron fence onto the White House lawn? Did you get past this Secret Service agent? Notice the weapon in his left hand. He has been posted at the fence to thwart the hoards of women expected to storm the place on a chance they might be able to get to Barack?

Yes___ No____

This is going to be a real test. If, in 4 weeks, we have no defectors to the other side, we may have a chance to help this great country get back on the conservative track, forcing the liberal gravy train to take the side rail.

I can’t wait until we get back together.

As President Barack Obama always says, in a very presidential manner, when he’s finished addressing a group, no matter who they may be:

LOVE YOU GUYS!

The Prez