CZARINA, CZARINA

(Theme song for this post: Corrine, Corrina and Shake, Rattle and Roll)

Czarina, Czarina, GASP is where you belong

Czarina, Czarina, GASP is where you belong
We’ll tell the sheeple where they done gone wrong.

Czarina, Czarina,
Czarina, Czarina,
Czarina, Czarina,
I need you so!

I need Czarinas, tell the world I do
I need Czarinas, tell the world I do
All of us together, clean up that D.C. zoo!




And, now, I take great pride in introducing our very own GASP Czarinas!










CZARINA CZARINA - CYNTHIA, ODESSA, TX


Cynthia started this. She is the one who suggested we have Czars instead of Vice Prezidents. She will make sure that we are in step with the times.




METHANE CZARINA - LORI, HOUSTON, TX
Lori’s application came with a glowing recommendation from her gastrointerologist. At our meetings we can either make her stay out in the hall or we can all don gas masks.

TREASURY CZARINA - SHIRLEY, RENO, NV
We will print our own GASP currency when inflation hits. Shirley is making appointments for me to sit for several photographers. Guess whose image in going to be on the new trillion dollar bill? (Here's the prototype!)

COVERT OPERATIONS CZARINA - ????
Duh, it is Covert Operations. I can’t tell you anything!

ALTERNATIVE ENERGY CZARINA - KENDRA, HOUSTON, TX
Kendra is going to harness energy through electric eels. She writes, “...what’s a little extra slime? If that fails we could try fireflies. What’s a more hopeful symbol than fireflies? It would bring a tear to the eye of the Arsonist in Chief”.

GRAFT CZARINA -
MARCIA, MONROE CITY, MO
Marcia will make sure The Prez is supplied regularly with largess. She has already sent a gift, as only two other GASP members have to date. The rest of you can expect some very forceful Rahm Emanuel arm twisting. I like jewelry.

MEDIA/PRESS CZARINA -
LAURA, PHOENIX, AZ
Our Blog Manager/Editor/Secretary of State/Grunt wrote, “It would be a hoot to go up against ole’ Gibbs. I think I could match him sarcasm for sarcasm.” I have no doubt that she could!

HEALTH CARE CZARINA -
ANN, COLLEYVILLE, TX
Ann is an R.N. and will be able to implement my McBucks health care plan perfectly. We will put a clinic in every McDonald’s and Starbucks across the country.....that pretty much means every block. We will round up all illegals and fast-track them through medical school and English classes. They will man the clinics and be paid minimum wage (since the libs think minimum wage is not an entry-level, temporary wage and should be high enough to support a family, this amount is what they will earn). We will double the prices in McDonald’s and Starbucks to subsidize the clinics. VOILA! Free health care for those that want it. You will be able to keep your current health care provider if you choose.

FASHIONISTA CZARINA -
PAT, WATAUGA, TX
This kills Pat because she is an absolute fashion plate....you should see her! She sadly decrees that everyone wear brown shirts, no sleeveless, please (and that includes you, Michelle). Her job is pretty much done so she won’t have to leave us and go to Washington.

DWTS CZARINA -
VIRGINIA, COCOA BEACH, FL
We are losing our right to choose in many areas of our lives. Why should Dancing With the Stars be any different? Virginia will tell us who to vote for every week. Ditto for American Idol.






Oh, heck, why not! I think I will leak it. The Covert Operations Czarina? That would be....gasp.... VALERIE PLAME, GEORGETOWN, WASHINGTON D.C. She’s launched an underground campaign to keep our Blog Manager/Editor/Secretary of State/Grunt from abandoning our GASP operation and shutting it down. While she is doing that she’s also looking for signs of yellowcake production.....but, you didn’t hear this from me!

So, there, you have it. Our first ten Czarinas. At our next meeting we will don our brown shirts, line up and rehearse our “Czarina, Czarina” routine. How soon can we take this show on the road?

THE PREZ

P.S. We will need more than one song in our repertoire, so before our next meeting please learn the words to "Shake, Rattle and Roll."