THE ENTERTAINER

(Theme song for post: The Entertainer)

Daaawling, BO, make up your mind. Do you want to be a movie star or Broadway star or TV star or do you want to be president? It seems to me that all you’ve done in the last 8 months is mug for the camera. Oh, and that’s quite an act you put on when you make your speeches. Do you ever shut down the campaign mode during your oratory or is that the only way you know how to speak? It is sooooo not presidential, daaawling. That ranting and raving in the middle of the speech to the joint session of Congress recently....tsk, tsk. I know, it is hard to turn off Jeremiah Wright in your head, isn’t it?

Here’s an idea for you, chump, uh uh, I mean, daaawling. Get yourself a studio in Hollywood or a stage on Broadway and stay there. You can play before huge, adoring crowds every single day of the year. It will be “maaawvelous!” Well, every day might be a bit much. You can take Mondays off and let your understudy, Biden, go on for you. The farther away from the White House you are, the better off we are. Play act where you can do no harm.

I think the citizens of this country are beginning to see you for what you are, daaawling, a complete phoney, a two-bit actor. You wanted to ride your star through a glorious 8-year run in “The President of the United States,” and come out on the far side as THE one who changed the country. Change, change, change, that’s all you talked about. You knew exactly what kind of change you wanted. Now people are beginning to see what you envision for America and they want no part of it. A lot of us were on to you a year ago, daaawling. The applause isn’t so loud anymore, is it?

You’ve run into very tough critics, daaawling BO. We aren’t.....gasp.....the New York Times!! Your 8-year run is going to be cut in half and you’ll be sent packing back to little theater performances in Chicago. If you can, in any way, be tied to the ACORN scandal, or if Blogo’s buddies sing, maybe the understudy will have to take over your role before this 4-year run ends. I doubt that will ever happen, though. It is apparent to me that your agents, producers and directors are doing such a maaawvelous job taking care of the star in their stable. Just like the glory days of Hollywood, all publicity about how wonderful you are is a bunch of crap, daaawling. Ahh, if we only had the true biography!

Are you the least bit tired from the 5 appearances on the political shows today? Hurry along now. The make-up lady is ready for you.....powder your nose.....it’s time to take the stage on Letterman. How DID you get him to give you the whole hour, daaawling? I must say, you ARE entertaining. Kissy-kiss! We must do lunch!

The Prez